Category: Self-care

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Self-care

being nonjudgmental with mindfulness when self-blame takes over

Self-blame refers to a person’s tendency to consider themselves at fault, especially when things don’t go as well as planned, even if the cause or events were beyond their control. A pattern of self-blame leads a person to feel constantly guilty and inferior. 

Although the tendency to self-blame can make a person seem humble and unassuming, it can also inhibit them in becoming more creative and wanting to strive to do better. 

People who have a persistent habit of blaming themselves for anything that goes wrong will usually avoid taking the initiative. This is because they prefer to stay inconspicuous so they won’t receive any extra needless attention. In doing so, they hope that others will have similar expectations of their capabilities. 

Being self-critical is the act of telling ourselves negative and destructive thoughts, such as being inadequate, shameful, or a failure. We almost all have a tendency to be self-critical to some degree. 

However, the problem begins when this becomes a habit; a negative, self-reinforcing loop. This is because constant self-criticism causes a person to become stuck with negative thoughts and emotions about themselves. They feel guilt and shame to the extent that they no longer feel any desire to achieve. If left unaddressed, this inaction can lead to depression or other mental health issues. 

Self-criticism deprives an individual of being able to look at their own efforts or abilities objectively. It robs them of being able to engage in healthy self-reflection, which would allow them to be more accepting of any past mistakes.

We can get away with a little bit of self-blame and self-criticism occasionally. However, if we continually beat ourselves up and start to do it more often than not, then we may not be able to stop and do an objective reality check. 

Remember, your mind is incredibly powerful. If you continually feed it with self-blaming and self-criticizing words, those words will get louder and more believed and ingrained. In turn this can increase your risk of developing anxiety or depression. 

Self-criticism and self blame can be beneficial to some degree

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They do help us ‘get real’ about ourselves. Sometimes we may be a little guilty of believing our own press. Some critical self-evaluation allows us to identify and accept our imperfections and take conscious steps to improve them. However, if self-blame and self-criticism become the norm, it can paralyze us into inaction. 

Consequently, you will be hindered from achieving your full potential. Therefore, it’s important to keep self-blame and self-criticism within healthy levels. Simply, it should be a feedback mechanism, not a tool for consistent self-deprecation.

But what if being self-critical get out of hand? Could it be possible you hate yourself too much? Self-hatred is more than simply not liking yourself. When you suffer with self-hatred, you’ll constantly put yourself down and feel like you aren’t good at anything.

Here, we’ll look at what self-hatred is, the impact it can have on your life and how you can stop it in its tracks.

Understanding self-hatred

Self-hatred is basically like having a little bully sat inside your head. You will experience constant criticizing thoughts, pointing out your flaws and mistakes. Just some common self-hatred thoughts you might experience include:

  • You’re a loser
  • Why did you event try, you knew you would fail
  • You aren’t good enough
  • Why can’t you just be normal?

You’ll put yourself down and compare yourself to others frequently. Self-hatred tends to develop over time and is triggered by more than one event. 

How can it impact your life?

Although self-doubt is healthy, self-hatred is not. If you struggle with self-hatred, it can have a devastating impact on your life. Often the feelings of self-hatred worsen over time and can lead to destructive behaviors as you try and numb the negative self-talk. 

Many people who suffer with self-hatred go on to develop destructive behaviors such as cutting themselves, develop eating disorders or turn to drugs and alcohol. It can impact every aspect of your life including your relationships, your career, and the friends you include in your life. You may also stop caring about the things you used to enjoy and avoid things that make you feel better.

The impact it can have on your life makes it important to treat quickly, rather than ignore it. The question is, how can you eliminate self-hatred?

Ways to eliminate self-hatred from your life

There are many ways to eliminate self-hatred from your life. Learning how to tame your inner bully is a great first step. So, when you notice that inner voice telling you negative things about yourself, switch it around. Stop those negative thoughts in their tracks and turn them into a positive.

So, if your inner bully says, “you aren’t worth anything,” switch it to “I may feel like I am not worthy, but I know that I am.” The more you counteract the negative with positive thoughts, the more positive your mind will become.

You can also make a list of all your strengths. If you struggle to come up with some, ask those closest to you. When you focus on your strengths, you won’t be too caught up in your weaknesses.

Finally, work on building up self-compassion. That is, treat yourself the exact same way you would treat a good friend. Would you beat them up for making a mistake? If not, why do it to yourself?

Overall, self-hatred can be a powerful thing to overcome since it builds up over time. However, the tips above can help you to start quieten your inner bully and develop a little more self-compassion. 

Try a mindfulness to be more nonjudgmental.

Mindfulness Steps To Keep Your Self-Blaming and Self-Criticism In Check

  1. Focus your criticism on your behavior.

Behaviors can be changed. This is why when your inner voice starts to be critical, it is time to address your behaviors. Be careful not to criticize your attributes, as you can’t always change them, or need to. Your attributes are a part of your uniqueness. 

If you blame yourself for not being super-intelligent, you run the risk of drowning in frustration and depression. If instead you more correctly blame or criticize your habit of spending too much time on your smartphone instead of studying, then chances are you can find ways to rectify the behavior, and therefore change the result. 

2. Know the difference between taking responsibility and self-blaming.

Instead of being quick to blame or criticize yourself, try to assess the situation first. It is important that you look into every aspect of yourself, and see how your actions, inactions, and the words you have left unspoken, affected the entire outcome of the situation. Accept your mistakes and come up with ways on how you can improve yourself as well as the situation in the future. 

2. Acknowledge your self-critical inner voice.

When your inner voice tells you that you are lazy, not worthy or inadequate, acknowledge these thoughts. Start by creating a journal of the things that you like about yourself, and your strengths. Creating this type of journal will help you appreciate yourself more and criticize yourself less. 

If you work on improving yourself, your skills, abilities, and behavior you will find it easier to get rid of your negative self-critical inner voice.

Categories
Self-care

learn how to deal with emotions and regrets without the guilt

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People are wired with emotions. Therefore, when you suppress your emotions, you are going against your design. That can cause harm to you physically and emotionally.

There is a time and place for everything, including expressing emotions. It’s probably not the best idea to shout in the middle of a busy location. In this day and age, people could mistake your actions when doing this. 

Keeping your emotions bottled up will eventually lead to stress and other adverse mental conditions. If this continues for too long, it can cause you to become depressed and can lead to problems with alcohol or drug abuse. For instance, many people turn to sleep aids or worse, like Oxycontin and other opioid-type drugs. These are highly addictive and only mask the symptoms.

Many people are taught to suppress emotions by their parents and grandparents. These generations were taught to do the same and felt it was a true sign of character to be able to keep your emotions in check. During their time as kids, there was less information about the effects of emotions than there are currently.

Some people still adhere to the old ways of not expressing emotions. Expressing emotions is similar to complaining, and no one wants to hear it. However, modern studies are pointing to suppressing emotions as damaging.

There are classes that allow you to let off some steam. People have different ways to accomplish this. Some will play sports like basketball while others will work out at the gym. Meditation is another, more tranquil way to reduce your stress.

Sometimes all you need is to talk to someone about what you are feeling. You are letting your guard down when you do this so make sure you find someone you can trust. If you choose a coworker, make sure you don’t disclose so much to leave you vulnerable should that person tell what you said to others in the workplace. If it gets back to your boss or another person who you may be talking about, it could have negative consequences.

Keeping your emotions inside is never healthy. However, you need to try and find the right time to express those emotions. But finding that time is crucial to your mental and physical wellbeing. It is not worth getting sick because you aren’t willing to express yourself. The benefits of letting it out will lead you to a better life with less regrets.

Regret happens. What doesn’t have to happen is you holding on to it forever. Releasing regret is a process, one that is different for every person and every situation. However, you can give various forms of releasing regret a try and learn about yourself in the process.

  1. Practice Daily Gratitude

Practicing daily gratitude is a great way to consistently remind yourself of all that you have. Family, friends, a home, food to eat, maybe even a cute puppy to come home to. Whatever your gratitude is toward, reminding yourself of it is a great way to reflect on the good in your life and make the regrets seem less important in the grand scheme of life.

2. Trust the Journey

Reminding yourself that even the adverse events in life are part of a bigger journey allows you to look at the larger picture. Yes, you regret this one mistake. But, did that one mistake lead you down a different path that had good outcomes? Everything happens for a reason, trust that in time you will find out why that mistake or loss occurred.

3. Learn to Release Emotions

Emotions in the grand scheme of life (once again; are you seeing the bigger picture yet?) are fleeting. Learning to release your feelings when they are not serving you will aid you now and in the future. Stop beating yourself up for something that happened in the past and learn to move on with a clear mind and focus.

4.Accept the Lesson Learned

Situations or actions we regret typically offer us a lesson—if we are open to learning it. Accept that you learned a lesson and move on with it. Living through a challenging event means nothing if you don’t continue living and implement what you learned into your future life.

5. “What If-ing” the Past Doesn’t Change the Future

Living in the land of “what ifs” is tempting. However, “what ifs” literally mean nothing in the practice of daily life. You can spend hours or even days guessing at a different outcome, but it doesn’t matter. Those what-ifs will never directly impact your future other than to steal from it. Stop reliving it and move on.

If you are living your life being swallowed alive by your regret, start exploring ways to release it and move on. You deserve a life that is fulfilled and happy, not a life that leaves you stuck in the past and wallowing in disappointment. 

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Gratitude Positivity Self-care

10 things nobody told you about practicing gratitude

What you focus on comes to pass. When you practice gratitude you are training your mind to be more positive and this has some interesting physical implications. Practicing gratitude and positive thinking directly affects your brain chemistry. By focusing on gratitude and happiness, you control the release of certain chemicals and neurotransmitters that influence how you feel both physically and mentally. Let’s take a look at how that works. 

Dopamine and serotonin

Focusing on happiness and gratitude leads to the release of two “feel good” neurotransmitters – dopamine and serotonin. These two neurotransmitters are responsible for warm feelings. Yes, there are other ways to get them like exercise and chocolate for example. Focusing on positivity, making a conscious effort to be more grateful and happier changes the balances of neurotransmitters in your body and your brain. 

Fewer Stress Hormones 

When you are anxious or scared, the body releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It helps you react fast when you’re about to be hit by a car and make you run faster when you need to get away from someone. But it works against you when it’s a response to something that isn’t a physical danger. Like worrying about contracting COVID-19 or what your co-worker thinks of you. 

Stress hormones can lead to weight gain, depression, anxiety, and they take a toll on your heart. One of the most powerful strategies to reduce stress is practicing gratitude and positive thinking. So choose happiness and know that you are doing wonders for your mental and physical health. 

So what’s the bottom line? When you are mindful of all of the things you are grateful for in your life then you can learn to appreciate all the good even in the midst of the bad and cultivate happiness. Stop waiting for the right person, the right circumstances. Don’t wait for happiness to find you. Be happy right now. In this moment. And use gratitude to help you get there. 

Adversity – Staying Positive When Life Falls Apart

We take a lot of good things for granted in our everyday life. A roof over our heads, a steady paycheck, a loving partner, the ability to go out for a run on the weekends. The specifics vary, but one of the big advantages of modern lives is the many awesome things we can count on. We’re not used to falling short, so when something happens and our life starts to fall apart, it’s easy to fall into thinking patterns that focus on lack and despair. 

Sometimes the bad things are a result of choices we made. Sometimes they are outside of our control. In either case, it is up to us to decide how we react to each crisis. One piece of advice that is important to remember no matter what adversity you face is to make sure you don’t forget about how blessed you really are. Gratitude can turn what we have into enough. 

There’s a quote I love and would like to share with you by Melody Beattie. Here it is: 

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” 

Think about how you can start to do this in your everyday life. A good place to start is to simply take a deep breath and pause for a moment when things go wrong and everything is starting to feel overwhelming. Then come up with one little thing you are grateful for during this time. It can be something as simple as being able to breathe fresh, clean air, or living to fight another day. 

Find that something and start to build on it. What else are you grateful for? Keep making that mental list until the desperation starts to lift and you can start to think clearly. When you do, you can start to find your way out, no matter how bad things seem at first. And remember, you never know what good might come from the struggle you are facing right now. 

But What If You’re Stuck In Negativity?

Practicing gratitude and focusing on positivity is easier said than done. Especially if you are struggling with anxiety and depression. If you ever find yourself spiraling into the deep pit of depression then get help if you need it.  There’s nothing wrong with talking to a counselor or getting therapy. It’s the smart thing to do. 

When things aren’t quite that bad, there’s a lot you can do to get yourself unstuck from all that negativity. Start by acknowledging them and putting them into words. How exactly do you feel? Is it anger or annoyance? Frustration or disappointment? Try to be specific. Dig deep. Yes, it can be painful and some people prefer to avoid thinking about these feelings, but the first step to getting yourself unstuck is determining exactly where you are emotionally. 

Once you find the true reason for your negative feelings, you can start to work to resolve them. What that looks like will vary from case to case. The important takeaway here is that it gives you something specific and meaningful to do. You no longer feel out of control or helpless. It’s something you can work with and that alone will help you think more positively. 

In addition, it allows you to distance yourself a little from the negative feelings. You may still be upset with your spouse, but it also gives you the space to remember everything you love about him or her. It gives you the space to act outside of the negativity and have a good relationship while you work things out. And sometimes, it may give you the mental space you need to realize that it is up to you to decide if you want to continue to dwell in the negativity, or choose a route of forgiveness. You can’t change everything or everyone. Sometimes your path toward positivity is to acknowledge your negative feelings and then let them go. 

Of course all of this is easier said than done. A journal can be a great tool to help you along the way. Try talking to a close friend or confidant when you feel stuck and you can’t see a path towards positivity. An outside perspective can give a lot of clarity. Meditation can be helpful as well. 

Last but not least, surround yourself with positivity.  Get outside and enjoy nature. Spend some time helping others. And don’t forget to remind yourself regularly of everything you have to be grateful for. 

Turning Gratitude Outward – Sharing With The World

Practicing gratitude regularly has a bit impact on your life, your health, and your mental and emotional wellbeing. But it doesn’t end there. It will also have a big impact on those around you and the world at large when you start to turn your gratitude outwards and share it far and wide. 

Now let’s take this a step further. What if, instead of simply practicing gratitude for yourself, you take it out to the world at large? What could happen? What force of good could you create? There is no telling how many lives you could influence for the better. Let’s take a look at how you, I, and everyone else reading this can start to turn their gratitude outward and share it with those around them. 

Random Acts of Kindness 

Do something kind for a stranger. This can be something as simple as giving an open and honest smile to a stranger on the street or a few kind words and a compliment for the cashier ringing up your groceries. Or it could be taking a meal to an elderly neighbor or buying a drink for the person behind you in the coffee shop drive-thru line. Make it a goal to do something kind for someone each day and do it intentionally. 

Respect And Thank Those Who Serve You 

There are so many people in our communities that serve us from first responders to the waitress at your favorite restaurant. Make it a point to be respectful and thank them with words, with actions, and in the case of that waitress with a generous tip. Show them how grateful you are for everything they do to make your life easier.  

Volunteer In Your Community 

What better way to show your gratitude than to give your time and your skills. There are many opportunities for anyone to volunteer in various projects and for a variety of different causes. See what’s available around you and make an effort to put in some time to volunteer each month. Not only is it a wonderful way to give back and spread gratitude, but you’ll be amazed at how much you get out of it. 

Develop Deeper Relationships 

Last but not least, I would like to encourage you to work on developing deeper relationships. You will have a stronger sense of gratitude and lead by example when you make the time to listen and actively work on coming closer to the people you love. 

Now that you have some ideas, the ball is in your court. What will you do today, this week, or this month to spread gratitude in your own circle of influence? Go out there and make an impact. Make the world a better and more grateful place. 

Living Abundantly By Showing And Sharing Gratitude 

Would you like to live abundantly full of happiness and contentment? How about a life with excellent physical and mental health? Greatly increase your chances of that happening by showing and sharing gratitude. That’s right, something as simple as practicing thankfulness and expressing how grateful you are for the people and things you have in your life has a powerful impact. Here are some simple things you can do starting today to show your gratitude. 

  1. Tell the people you love how grateful you are for them. We often take the ones closest to us for granted. Make a point to do it regularly and be specific to make it meaningful. 
  2. Think about the people who challenge you. Express your gratitude for how they help you grow and make you stronger. 
  3. Take a few minutes each week to write a letter or email to a person who has made a difference to you at one point or another. This could be a teacher, a mentor, an old friend … anyone you can think of. 
  4. Give the gift of your time to someone to show without words how grateful you are to have them in your life. This is particularly important for the elderly people in your life. Your time with them is limited. Make the most of it. 
  5. Start using a gratitude journal and make the time to write down three things you are grateful for every single day. It will brighten even your worst days and put things into perspective. 
  6. Forgive yourself when you don’t reach all your goals, or things don’t go your way. Be grateful for what you have and what you are learning from each experience. 
  7. Compliment the people around you. Make them feel good about themselves. It’s a powerful way to show gratitude in an indirect way. Small, meaningful gifts and acts of service do the same. 
  8. Pay it forward. Do something nice for someone you work with or a total stranger. Random acts of kindness are a wonderful way to spread gratitude and bring more positivity into the world. 
  9. Give a hug and a kind word to someone who’s struggling. Show them through physical affection that you’re there for them and grateful to have them in your life. 
  10. Show your body and mind gratitude for what they do for you day in and day out by taking care of yourself and investing in regular self-care. 
Categories
Self-care

overcoming post election stress

Post Election Stress

In 2016, the American Psychological Association reported that 52% of US adults thought that the presidential election was very or somewhat significant source of stress. In the Stress In America survey, both Democrats and Republicans were equally likely to say that the election was very or somewhat significant source of stress. There were no appreciable differences between party lines. In fact, there were no significant differences in generation. All generations including boomers and gen Z felt the stress from the election. Individuals with disabilities suffered the most significant stress over the election compared to those without disabilities. It all points to stress being a part of what Americans deal with in anticipation of the unknown. 

Post Election Trauma Disorder

It happened back in 2016 when Donald Trump won the election against Hillary Clinton. Americans were going to their therapists complaining of panic attacks, moodiness, insomnia, and heightened anxiety. These complaints were termed to be Post Election Trauma Disorder. This is not a diagnostically verifiable categorized disorder in the DSM-V, but an array of symptoms under investigation. 

Both Democrats and Republicans reported increased stress over family, friends, and acquaintances over social media. Anyone who goes on Facebook or Twitter can figure out that there is true animosity between political lines. I shut down all of my social media and took a break from blogging to deal with the stress. How do we deal with our own stress and those of our neighbors? Are we going through post-election stress now in 2020?

Stages of Grief 

The post-election period can lead some stressed Americans to experience a collective stress, grief and loss. There are five stages of grief that were presented by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying. 

1. Denial and isolation. One can deny that the election happened and that President Trump loss. One can regret that things should have happened differently without mail in ballots and without COVID-19.

2. Anger. One can become angry at the results and lash out at others. This step is certainly observed with the collective protests around the country. 

3. Bargaining. This is the stage that one can observe with the call to stop votes from counting by the supporters of Trump. 

4. Depression. In this stage, one can cry and have trouble focusing. One can blame themselves for the results. 

5. Acceptance. Some Trump supporters have reached this stage. They have accepted that the nation must move on. 

People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them.

Use Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the key in being aware of your source of stress. Follow these tips to deal with post election stress.

1. Be mindful of those around you. Avoid getting into discussions that can escalate. Take a deep breath, feel that you are becoming anxious and reset your emotions. Choose to be calm.

2. Turn off the cell phone notifications, social media and television. To overcome post election stress, spend your time in pleasurable activities such as drawing, board games or reading. Turn off your cell phone at least 1 hour before you go to bed. By getting a good night’s sleep you will feel rested. Simply, stay off Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. 

3. Be grateful every day. Schedule a regular time to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and read them out loud. It could easily be about being grateful that you are a citizen in a democracy and exercised your right to vote.

4. Do some self-reflection meditation. Find a quiet space a start deep breathing, Clear your mind to reflect on calm and happy memories. Focus on your gratitude.

Being it the moment Stops Post Election Stress

Being aware of being in the moment is a great way to cut down on worry and anxiety. Follow these six steps to be more in tune with the present:

1. Practice savoring the present. Notice sights, sounds, smells and engage all your senses in each moment of the day. This helps you relax. Focus on your task not on your performance. Focusing on the task at hand instead of worrying about how well you are doing keeps you from stressing over what will happen.

2. Notice your breathing. When you focus on your breath you feel more peaceful and centered.

3. Lose track of time by getting into the flow of what you are doing. Focusing on what you are doing and enjoying it while you are relaxes you.

4. Accept people and situations as they are. When you refrain from judging others or stop worrying about situations, you let your mind and body off the hook of fearing it.

5. Work on building your mindfulness every day. Mindfulness keeps anxiety at bay because you are aware of what is happening around you.

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, you should aim to be in the present moment. This allows peacefulness to replace anxiety.

Long-Term Strategies to Decrease Post Election Stress

As you can see, there are many things you can do right now to reduce stress and anxiety over the post election period. Isolation can be the worse way to deal with post election stress. Strengthening connections is the key by building relationships. 

1. Start by compromising with others when possible. Is it really worth it to argue? Use the mindfulness techniques above and think empathetically. Ask questions and listen to the other side. 

2. Contribute. Volunteer in your community. Advocate for an issue. Join a nonprofit group to make a positive change and help others. Civic involvement gives you a voice. 

3. Live in the present. If you overthink and worry about the things that happened in the past, then you are directly focusing on the stress. Live in the now. Acknowledge the stress and let it pass.

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mindset Self-care

this year will be the year of overthinking

We continue to face a pandemic making this year the year of overthinking. It has been overly stressful for all of us. Some of us have resorted to overthinking, which is no surprise because studies have shown that stressful events can lead to rumination.

“To think too much is a disease.” 

― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Notes from Underground & The Double
Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

 8 Ways To Overcome Overthinking

1. Be aware of when you are doing it.

The first step in changing any behavior including overthinking about everything, is to realize you are doing it. Acknowledge that you are a worrier. Becoming aware helps you gain control over it.

It’s not exactly going to be easy. After all, it’s natural for human beings to admit we have a problem, no matter how big or small. However, being aware that you overthink is the first step in understanding how your mind works.

The next time you catch yourself overthinking something, stop what you’re doing, acknowledge the fact that you are worrying about the subject and then move on. Simply by pausing and being aware can help you go back to the reality of the situation and focus on the moment.

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2. See the world from the inside out.

See the world by exploring your own hobbies. Pick up painting with watercolors or writing. Explore your feelings through drawing. Listen to music. Play an instrument. Join an online meetup group.

If you do decide to venture outside, travel to a national park and admire nature. It gives you a new perspective on life. You’re able to put aside your worry and focus on the moment.

Having a staycation helps you relax and put your mind on something else. 

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3. Distract yourself.

Distract yourself. Do something else that engages your brain when you find yourself overthinking something. One option is to journal about your overthinking. Put it all down, kind of like a brain dump on paper, then set it aside. This helps clear your mind and allows you to focus on the problem/situation/person of what is happening at that moment.

Another option is to do some type of movement such as twenty pushups or dancing around the room. Or distract yourself by reading a fun article or calling your best friend. Just do whatever you can to get yourself out of the worrying moment. It will surprise you how quickly your overthinking thoughts will become less overwhelming when you don’t let them take over.

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4. Don’t believe everything your mind tells you.

A thought is simply a thought. It isn’t a reality. It’s hard for people who tend to overthink everything not to believe every thought they have. But in truth, you have to power to control your own thoughts. When negative self-talk takes over, don’t believe it. Acknowledge it then move on. 

Just because your mind is telling you to worry about something or to be fearful about something isn’t a reason you have to listen to it. You can put this into practice every time worry tries to take over and ruin your day.

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5. Shock your senses.

Overthinking is a mental activity that involves your mind but not your body. Instead when you find yourself overthinking, do something physical. This can shock your senses by taking the power away from one area of the body and sending it to another area.

When you do this, you take away the power of the thoughts and putting focus on something else. This allows you to turn worry into a positive action. For example, when you start to overthink and feel fearful about something, smell the scents from calming lavender essential oils. The brain starts to react to the sudden change in action moving it away from the focus of the worrisome thought.

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6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

This expression has around for a while, but as an overthinker it needs to be a daily mantra. Your life will consist of things you can control and things you can’t. It’s up to you to recognize the ones you can’t control and accept them for as they are. 

You’re going to have practice letting things go. It will take time but by being aware of what you aren’t able to control, it gets easier to stop worrying so much. The things that don’t really matter shouldn’t paralyze you with worry because you’re going to have bigger more important things ahead. 

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7. You don’t have to be perfect.

Go easy on yourself. Let perfectionism go. It’s often linked to overthinking and stress or by someone striving for perfectionism as a way to deal with stress. This tends to make you more anxious because you are trying to do the impossible: being perfect.

Admit and accept your imperfections. Realize no one is perfect so let go of your overthinking and give yourself the freedom to mess up.

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8. Enjoy the scenery.

Taking pictures, especially ones of nature and landscapes is a relaxing way to calm your mind and reduce stress. When you take photographs, you are focusing on the present moment. You’re aware of the world around you and what you see though your lens/screen. This keeps you from having the time to worry since you mind can’t wander to the past or the future for that moment in time.

Another caveat to photography is how it allows you to open up and be creative. Creativity is a great stress-reducer and a good way to find balance between work and relaxation each day. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect or professional- just photograph what inspires you.

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Self-care

8 tips for self-care: I wish it were self-care Sunday

Graphic with 8 tips for self-care Sundays.

Sometimes we are so busy with our daily hustle that Sunday meets Monday, and we tend to forget our self-care routines. An easy way to remember a self-care routine is to dedicate one single day of a week to fit it into your life. This is the start of self-care Sunday. 

Why Choose A Self-Care Routine on Sunday?

Sunday is the start of the week and a day of rest for many of us. It’s the perfect day to dedicate solely to yourself.  Forget chasing after the kids, the grumpy husband or the laundry. Self-care Sunday is all about you choosing a day to unwind from your weekly activities. It is a time to reflect and plan for the week ahead. By dedicating one day out of the whole week to your self-care, you are able to take advantage of the downtime. Also, you will improve your self-esteem. Let’s work on a quick routine

Setting Up Your Weekly Self-Care Routine

First, carve out time in your schedule for self-care Sunday. Don’t compromise your time with extra chores or rushing to get things done for Monday. Dedicate this time for you. Focus on your self-care on Sundays, whether that means an hour during the day, or changing the entire routine for the whole day. 

Think of self-care Sunday like a reset day. By resetting the button on your computer, you can reboot your life.  You not only get your planning done for the week, but you give yourself some time to relax and unwind. Your body rests and your mind grows in creativity with self-care. Remember our morning routine and how daydreaming helped us think of what we really wanted to accomplish. Downtime strengthens your imagination. It becomes your creative time.  

How is Self-Care Sunday Different from Ordinary Daily Self-Care?

There is no difference other than the day. In fact, you can probably carry out this routine on a Wednesday if you had the whole day off.  My work doesn’t allow that luxury. I chose Sunday because it is easy to remember and reminds me of the song by the Bangles. 

“I wish it were Sunday since 
 that is my fun day. My I don't want to run day.”

You still want to choose activities that help you to relax and that promote your overall wellness. Don’t feel pressured to cram all your self-care routines before or after work. 

Think About Your Current Sunday Routine

In order to turn Sunday into your weekly self-care day, you need to consider your schedule. This self-reflection helps you determine if these are things that can only be done on Sundays. Maybe if you move these tasks to another day you give more time to yourself.

Make a list of all you do every Sunday first. Then look at your list, and discard anything that isn’t really necessary or might no longer be serving you. With what is left, determine if any of those activities can be moved to Saturday. This is the trick to establishing a self-care Sunday.  

For instance, if you do a lot of cleaning and chores on Sundays, free some of your time on another day. Dividing tasks and running daily quick 5-minute room pick-ups works great. In this way, you will finish your daily cleaning in no time to free your Sunday.

Just because you have committed time to your self-care routine, doesn’t mean it becomes a recurrent boring task. For example, you might decide to practice belly dancing with your girlfriends one week or go on a solitary walk another week. We strive on variety.

Sometimes, what you choose as your self-care activity changes because of illness or a change in weather. Continue to make adjustments based on your schedule. Revisit what you are doing for self-care often. As your needs change, so will your self-care and what is actually going to benefit you the most. Remember that what works best for you is going to be an activity that helps you feel relaxed and improves your mood. Choose an activity that you love to do!

Ideas for Sunday Self-Care Activities

Self-care Sunday is more about dedicating a day to yourself each week. This dedicated time is important especially if you are too busy during the week to really focus on you. Here are some activities that can be great to do on Sundays: 

1. Let yourself sleep in 

This one is the hardest for me since my body wakes up before the alarm. This is the day that I allow myself to snooze it.  If you don’t get to sleep in during the rest of the week, at the very least give yourself this time on Sundays! Your body (and mind) needs the rest. 

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2. Make brunch at home

This is my friend’s Sunday routine tip. Her husband actually cooks up brunch every Sunday even if she is on a diet. Her home is like a restaurant. Sometimes, I visit her just for the crêpes and omelets. She pops open a bottle of champagne every Sunday. No wonder she is my best friend.

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3. Go outdoors

 You can also enjoy more time with your kids without cell phones and video games.  Go outside and literally play! Enjoy the fresh air and exercise. Ride bicycles around your neighborhood or have a picnic at the park. Walk a new nature trail, bird watch, and take photographs.

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4. Have an hour or a whole day of pampering 

You might not be able to dedicate the entire day just to self-care. So, another solution is to at least fit in some pampering time. This includes spa time.  Buy yourself a manicure set and follow a Youtube tutorial.  Unwind with a quick facial routine. I watch Dr. Dray on Youtube and her tutorials are from the drugstore. 

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5. Catch up on your reading or creative projects 

This is the perfect time to pick activities you enjoy. Maybe there is a book you have been wanting to finish or play the piano. Learn to read music or a new language. 

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6. Get ready for the week 

Self-care can also mean just giving yourself to meditate by doing nothing.really reset and prepare for the week ahead.

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7. Volunteer your time

Looking for something more meaningful and fulfilling? You might like to volunteer somewhere as your self-care. Look into local community centers or animal shelters that are open on Sunday and see if they need any help. 

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8. Join a local club 

Another social activity that helps with your self-care is joining a local club, like a book club. It will encourage you to read more. You can get together once a week with your book club to chat over tea.   I personally enjoy my camera club meet-ups.

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Download this free PDF printable:

My Healthy Journal Self-Care PromptsDownload