Categories
Authenticity

how to be authentic in 4 minutes or less

Do you know that many people who are ultra-successful walk around with imposter syndrome? They are by all accounts accomplished, but they feel terrible because they don’t think they deserve it. They feel like a total fake. People with imposter syndrome feel as if everything they are doing is a fluke and at any moment someone else is going to find out about the truth. If you feel that way sometimes, use these tips to overcome imposter syndrome.

  1. If You Think Success Was Too Easy Think Again

If you are feeling as if your success was too easy to come by compared to what you thought it would take before you experienced it, this can be a reason you experience imposter syndrome. Think again. You feel fraudulent because it was simple to achieve, and you now think it’s not even that special because anyone can do it.

The way to deal with this erroneous feeling is to look at some stats. How many people in your situation have achieved what you have achieved? You’re likely to find out that not as many people have succeeded doing what youíre doing as you think. This information alone should help you realize that you had to be responsible at least a little for your achievement. Even if other people could do it if they wanted to, you did it – they did not.

2. If You Think No One Is Self-Made So You Don’t Deserve Kudos

Everyone gets some form of help, whether it’s the zip code they’re born in or meeting the right people at the right time, or something else. Even if itís just being able to drive to and from work, someone had to build the roads, and you had to be born being able to see to do it. Therefore, someone helped and youíre not totally self-made.

So guess what. No one is self-made. But, everyone has some part in their own success. It doesnít matter if you were born on first base, third base, or not even on the field; you are responsible for your actions from where you found yourself to where you are now.

You deserve kudos for it. You deserve the life you are building and itís okay to accept that you value the things you have achieved, and you could not have done it without making the choices you made. Even if someone gave you a million dollars, you had choices. You could blow that million dollars or you could invest it and turn it into a billion dollars. Either way, you are where you are now due to your own choices at the time.

3. You Have Value

The hard thing for people who have imposter syndrome to understand is the value they provide by being who they are. Even if 100,000 people are doing what you want to do, you provide a unique input and value to your version of that thing that no one else can ever provide. This means that even if you are making money selling blue jeans, which are everywhere, your jeans are special because you came up with the idea.

Anytime you can provide something for someone, it is valuable (and that value is in the eye of the beholder); it doesnít matter if itís a commodity or if itís totally 100 percent unique. Your special touch adds just enough value to make it worthwhile to you and to others. When you accept your value to the world, you’ll be able to let go of imposter syndrome and instead of asking, “why me?” you’ll start asking “why not me?”.

Overcoming imposter syndrome is to accept that you are important as you are, that you offer something special even if itís similar to others, and that you are valuable in your own right. You are valuable just because you exist and the things you do add value to the lives around you, even if it is not totally original or new. To overcome imposter syndrome, try to be your authentic self.

Authentic Self

How do some people pretend to be something or someone they aren’t? Often in social situations, people act differently than they do with their close friends and family. However, it’s important to stay true to who you are, to be your authentic self.

It’s natural that people want to be accepted but the key to staying true to yourself is not worrying too much about what others think or believe. People should accept you for who you are. Don’t waste your time on toxic people who don’t accept it:

  1. You can’t live up to the person you are pretending to be. 
    If you aren’t being your authentic self, you will falter at some point. It’s not a matter of if, but when. Did you ever notice that people who lie, often tell a different story later? This is because they won’t remember what the story was in the past and have no choice but to make up new details. If you are pretending to be someone you are not, this is essentially the same as lying.
  2. Know who you are. 
    It’s important to know yourself. This may seem like an obvious statement, but many people don’t know who they are. Dig deep to discover the subtle aspects of your life that you tend to ignore or keep hidden. There is no need to hide your true personality because that is who you are. You can’t change that.
  3. Stop trying to be someone else. 
    Everyone has people they look up to. However, looking up to someone and trying to be them is not the same. It’s worthwhile to emulate some of their desirable traits, but make sure you aren’t stepping outside of who you are deep down.
  4. Don’t compromise on your values
    If you believe in something, stand firm. Sometimes, you’ll have no choice to make some compromises, but don’t cave in if they go against your beliefs. You must live with these choices. You want to be able to sleep at night.
  5. Negativity should not be a character trait you accept. 
    You won’t get far with negativity. If you are a negative person, this is not who you truly are. Remember, you don’t come out of the womb being negative. It’s something you learn. It’s time to unlearn it.
  6. Keep a Journal. 
    Keeping a journal is one of the best ways to figure out “who you are”. People often find that it is easier to be honest when writing down their thoughts. A journal will allow you to reflect on who you are, and then you can act accordingly. 

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Categories
mindfulness

can mindfulness increase your self-esteem?

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.

— Golda Meir

Haven’t you noticed how confident individuals have a certain charm in how they present themselves? They have a swagger in their walk and a captivating smile. Confident individuals are self-assured. Confidence allows them to have a positive view of themselves. You can be like that too! You know how much you are able to achieve. But first, you will need to figure out the following: Can mindfulness increase your self-esteem?

The potential is definitely there. You need to trust that your instincts, thinking, and abilities are sufficient. When you don’t believe in yourself, you struggle to simply accept who you are. Basically, you question yourself because you don’t trust your thinking. Essentially, you live in self-doubt.

Learn to let go. You go through life feeling as if you’re not educated enough or talented enough. Then, you think that you are not pretty enough. You carry out an imposter syndrome, a collection of feeling inadequate if you reach a certain success.

How Imposter Syndrome Affects Your Self-Esteem

Initially, imposter syndrome was studied in white, upper-middle-class women. It was thought to be a phenomenon of over achievement in this population. Studies later showed that the imposter phenomenon was not an isolated event. Men also experienced imposter syndrome. A recent study shows that some minorities are vulnerable to imposter syndrome. Minority status can become a source of stress in achieving goals. The study showed that African American students reported higher minority status stress compared to Asian Americans and Hispanic students. However, Asian Americans reported greater imposter feelings. The researchers believed that many Asian American students have a higher inner pressure to achieve.

These lead us to think about our own inner pressures to avoid imposter syndrome. You judge yourself, thinking of what you should have said or done. You find that you fall short. So ask yourself, can mindfulness increase your self-esteem and how?

What mindfulness does to help you change your low self-esteem is to build your confidence. You replace the feelings that you’re not good enough with the trust that you are better. Using mindfulness calls for you to not dwell on any negative experiences where you feel that you failed.

It helps you to not focus on the future. It helps train your mind to focus on who you are right now. You see that who you are is simply good enough. You learn to accept yourself – and with that, you build strong confidence in yourself.

Ways that Mindfulness Can Boost Self-Esteem

Practicing mindfulness can boost your self-esteem. Mindfulness can lead you to a life being lived in the present. With living in the now comes a non-judgmental acceptance of who you are.

Many people have an internal voice. This internal voice has been conditioned to speak this negatively by us. The disturbing results are that when we allow this internal voice to have a negative way, we can trigger stress, anxiety, and even depression.

This self-talk impacts your well-being and how you feel about yourself. Learn to be aware of this negative self-talk. If you call yourself names, that’s a sign that you engage in negative self-talk.

Some people call themselves stupid. When they consider taking action this internal self-talk tells them why they can’t. You start telling yourself things like “I’m not smart or pretty enough”.

When you allow these thoughts to run wild, you can get into the mindset that you can’t do something. You feel unworthy and then your feelings follow that internal self-talk until it becomes a belief.

This habit can be so automatic within you that the negative self-talk plays constantly in your mind. It becomes like white noise. It buzzes and you get used to it. What mindfulness does is bring your attention to the inner dialogue that’s destroying your self-esteem.

You learn what this internal conversation is doing to harm you and how it’s impacting your emotions. Mindfulness helps you learn to accept yourself without expectations or blaming. You gain skills to raise your confidence and accept yourself.

With acceptance, we learn about ourselves. It helps us see that we are not perfect. People who aren’t accepting often blame others for all problems, even when it’s their fault.

The key is to find the right balance of learning about yourself and keeping up your self-esteem.

3 Top Confidence and Self-Esteem Boosters

  1. Always evaluate each situation you find yourself involved in. Don’t make assumptions as they can be wrong, without the right information. You want to collect information to form a choice. You want to eliminate any possibility that might influence your thinking. For instance, you might believe that you are the cause of a problem without gathering any evidence. If you are the cause of a problem, own up to it and try to make the situation right.
  2. Don’t just take the blame for everything. If you discover that you are not the cause, then speak up and let that be known. Self-critical people will tend to blame themselves automatically.
  3. It’s important to pick your battles. If you find something minor that came up, you may want to be mindful and let it go.

If you find it difficult to trust yourself, it may be a sign that you lack confidence. You cannot develop any trust without confidence. Feel secure in your abilities and be strong in your convictions. But, know when to accept your faults.

Acceptance of your strengths and weaknesses helps in developing confidence. That may seem new to you. But think about it, no one is born with confidence. Confidence is a process that you learn to develop. You learn to have a swagger in your walk. You learn to portray yourself as self-assured. Take steps to develop your confidence and trusting yourself will flow.

The biggest detractor from confidence is fear. When you give in to your fears, you will diminish the chances of building up your confidence.

Start out with small steps that you have been afraid to try in the past. Many outcomes will turn out better than you imagine.

Visualize the positive. If you try to anticipate what will happen, and it is always a negative outcome, you will never make a decision.

Take on those small tasks without thinking about what will happen. Be mindful and open about the outcome. This action will build up your confidence as you’ve never seen before.

You should ask questions when you aren’t sure about the situations you face.

Confidence is not about having all the answers. It’s about knowing where to find them and whom to rely on with the knowledge that you need to move forward. It’s also about giving up on one way to solves a problem and finding a new solution.

Confidence is about taking responsibility for your choices and actions. When you make your decisions, you own them, even if they don’t work out. When you increase your confidence, you will automatically grow to trust yourself. Then, you can accomplish more than you ever imagined. Can mindfulness increase your self-esteem? Yes, it can especially if you use loving-kindness.

To learn more about loving-kindness listen to this free mini podcast:

Loving-Kindness Activities

These activities are proven to help your self-esteem. By following these activities you will learn to accept yourself. This is key to a loving-kindness practice. Remember not to be harsh towards yourself. Soften your stance to quiet the inner voice within you.


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