kindness

What you focus on comes to pass. When you practice gratitude you are training your mind to be more positive and this has some interesting physical implications. Practicing gratitude and positive thinking directly affects your brain chemistry. By focusing on gratitude and happiness, you control the release of certain chemicals and neurotransmitters that influence how you feel both physically and mentally. Let’s take a look at how that works.

Dopamine and serotonin

Focusing on happiness and gratitude leads to the release of two “feel good” neurotransmitters – dopamine and serotonin. These two neurotransmitters are responsible for warm feelings. Yes, there are other ways to get them like exercise and chocolate for example. Focusing on positivity, making a conscious effort to be more grateful and happier changes the balances of neurotransmitters in your body and your brain.

Fewer Stress Hormones

When you are anxious or scared, the body releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It helps you react fast when you’re about to be hit by a car and make you run faster when you need to get away from someone. But it works against you when it’s a response to something that isn’t a physical danger. Like worrying about contracting COVID-19 or what your co-worker thinks of you.

Stress hormones can lead to weight gain, depression, anxiety, and they take a toll on your heart. One of the most powerful strategies to reduce stress is practicing gratitude and positive thinking. So choose happiness and know that you are doing wonders for your mental and physical health.

So what’s the bottom line? When you are mindful of all of the things you are grateful for in your life then you can learn to appreciate all the good even in the midst of the bad and cultivate happiness. Stop waiting for the right person, the right circumstances. Don’t wait for happiness to find you. Be happy right now. In this moment. And use gratitude to help you get there.

Adversity – Staying Positive When Life Falls Apart

We take a lot of good things for granted in our everyday life. A roof over our heads, a steady paycheck, a loving partner, the ability to go out for a run on the weekends. The specifics vary, but one of the big advantages of modern lives is the many awesome things we can count on. We’re not used to falling short, so when something happens and our life starts to fall apart, it’s easy to fall into thinking patterns that focus on lack and despair.

Sometimes the bad things are a result of choices we made. Sometimes they are outside of our control. In either case, it is up to us to decide how we react to each crisis. One piece of advice that is important to remember no matter what adversity you face is to make sure you don’t forget about how blessed you really are. Gratitude can turn what we have into enough.

There’s a quote I love and would like to share with you by Melody Beattie. Here it is:

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Think about how you can start to do this in your everyday life. A good place to start is to simply take a deep breath and pause for a moment when things go wrong and everything is starting to feel overwhelming. Then come up with one little thing you are grateful for during this time. It can be something as simple as being able to breathe fresh, clean air, or living to fight another day.

Find that something and start to build on it. What else are you grateful for? Keep making that mental list until the desperation starts to lift and you can start to think clearly. When you do, you can start to find your way out, no matter how bad things seem at first. And remember, you never know what good might come from the struggle you are facing right now.

But What If You’re Stuck In Negativity?

Practicing gratitude and focusing on positivity is easier said than done. Especially if you are struggling with anxiety and depression. If you ever find yourself spiraling into the deep pit of depression then get help if you need it. There’s nothing wrong with talking to a counselor or getting therapy. It’s the smart thing to do.

When things aren’t quite that bad, there’s a lot you can do to get yourself unstuck from all that negativity. Start by acknowledging them and putting them into words. How exactly do you feel? Is it anger or annoyance? Frustration or disappointment? Try to be specific. Dig deep. Yes, it can be painful and some people prefer to avoid thinking about these feelings, but the first step to getting yourself unstuck is determining exactly where you are emotionally.

Once you find the true reason for your negative feelings, you can start to work to resolve them. What that looks like will vary from case to case. The important takeaway here is that it gives you something specific and meaningful to do. You no longer feel out of control or helpless. It’s something you can work with and that alone will help you think more positively.

In addition, it allows you to distance yourself a little from the negative feelings. You may still be upset with your spouse, but it also gives you the space to remember everything you love about him or her. It gives you the space to act outside of the negativity and have a good relationship while you work things out. And sometimes, it may give you the mental space you need to realize that it is up to you to decide if you want to continue to dwell in the negativity, or choose a route of forgiveness. You can’t change everything or everyone. Sometimes your path toward positivity is to acknowledge your negative feelings and then let them go.

Of course all of this is easier said than done. A journal can be a great tool to help you along the way. Try talking to a close friend or confidant when you feel stuck and you can’t see a path towards positivity. An outside perspective can give a lot of clarity. Meditation can be helpful as well.

Last but not least, surround yourself with positivity. Get outside and enjoy nature. Spend some time helping others. And don’t forget to remind yourself regularly of everything you have to be grateful for.

Turning Gratitude Outward – Sharing With The World

Practicing gratitude regularly has a bit impact on your life, your health, and your mental and emotional wellbeing. But it doesn’t end there. It will also have a big impact on those around you and the world at large when you start to turn your gratitude outwards and share it far and wide.

Now let’s take this a step further. What if, instead of simply practicing gratitude for yourself, you take it out to the world at large? What could happen? What force of good could you create? There is no telling how many lives you could influence for the better. Let’s take a look at how you, I, and everyone else reading this can start to turn their gratitude outward and share it with those around them.

Random Acts of Kindness

Do something kind for a stranger. This can be something as simple as giving an open and honest smile to a stranger on the street or a few kind words and a compliment for the cashier ringing up your groceries. Or it could be taking a meal to an elderly neighbor or buying a drink for the person behind you in the coffee shop drive-thru line. Make it a goal to do something kind for someone each day and do it intentionally.

Respect And Thank Those Who Serve You

There are so many people in our communities that serve us from first responders to the waitress at your favorite restaurant. Make it a point to be respectful and thank them with words, with actions, and in the case of that waitress with a generous tip. Show them how grateful you are for everything they do to make your life easier.

Volunteer In Your Community

What better way to show your gratitude than to give your time and your skills. There are many opportunities for anyone to volunteer in various projects and for a variety of different causes. See what’s available around you and make an effort to put in some time to volunteer each month. Not only is it a wonderful way to give back and spread gratitude, but you’ll be amazed at how much you get out of it.

Develop Deeper Relationships

Last but not least, I would like to encourage you to work on developing deeper relationships. You will have a stronger sense of gratitude and lead by example when you make the time to listen and actively work on coming closer to the people you love.

Now that you have some ideas, the ball is in your court. What will you do today, this week, or this month to spread gratitude in your own circle of influence? Go out there and make an impact. Make the world a better and more grateful place.

Living Abundantly By Showing And Sharing Gratitude

Would you like to live abundantly full of happiness and contentment? How about a life with excellent physical and mental health? Greatly increase your chances of that happening by showing and sharing gratitude. That’s right, something as simple as practicing thankfulness and expressing how grateful you are for the people and things you have in your life has a powerful impact. Here are some simple things you can do starting today to show your gratitude.

Tell the people you love how grateful you are for them. We often take the ones closest to us for granted. Make a point to do it regularly and be specific to make it meaningful.
Think about the people who challenge you. Express your gratitude for how they help you grow and make you stronger.
Take a few minutes each week to write a letter or email to a person who has made a difference to you at one point or another. This could be a teacher, a mentor, an old friend … anyone you can think of.
Give the gift of your time to someone to show without words how grateful you are to have them in your life. This is particularly important for the elderly people in your life. Your time with them is limited. Make the most of it.
Start using a gratitude journal and make the time to write down three things you are grateful for every single day. It will brighten even your worst days and put things into perspective.
Forgive yourself when you don’t reach all your goals, or things don’t go your way. Be grateful for what you have and what you are learning from each experience.
Compliment the people around you. Make them feel good about themselves. It’s a powerful way to show gratitude in an indirect way. Small, meaningful gifts and acts of service do the same.
Pay it forward. Do something nice for someone you work with or a total stranger. Random acts of kindness are a wonderful way to spread gratitude and bring more positivity into the world.
Give a hug and a kind word to someone who’s struggling. Show them through physical affection that you’re there for them and grateful to have them in your life.
Show your body and mind gratitude for what they do for you day in and day out by taking care of yourself and investing in regular self-care.

People are always asking me how I get everything on my to-do list done. How do I find the time to read ? How can I travel while keeping up with my blog? How do I maintain a healthy work life balance? What’s my secret for a balanced lifestyle?

There are many answers, but one of them came to mind this morning as I sipped my morning cup of tea– mindfulness. Being in the present placed my usual monkey mind to rest. Mindfulness freed my mind from the thoughts of an unclear perspective as I concentrated in the here and now.

I no longer had the problem of not enough time and balancing my life with my work; I had the gift of more than enough to do.

Why is this a gift? Consider this. When you are invited to brunch with your best friends. You are served many delicious foods, more than you can possibly sample. From among the offerings, you choose the ones that you want most. What you choose will depend on your needs, desires, and values. Do you want to try something new? Is there a dish you want to make sure to taste again?

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Sure, you could approach the brunch in a state of “reality show” drama as a die-hard-diva. You can show a face of frustration because you were invited to a brunch to be forced to eat all the selections of food on display. Clearly, it’s more than you can possibly eat. But why would you adopt that point of view? What would you possibly gain?

As I thought about this notion of having more than enough to do, I knew intuitively that I did not have to write every thought on my to-do-list. I don’t have to eat everything at a brunch buffet either. I also knew that accepting that I could not do it all was part of acknowledging my choice. I’m free to choose what I want to do.

Mindset Shift

This mindset shift frees your thinking:

When I notice that I have more than enough, it is natural to ponder on what I want most and why. Asking “what and why” motivates me to set priorities. What would be the most fun? Why do I need to accomplish this task? What would be the most productive?
When I notice that I have more than enough, it is fine to look for how I can share it. It gives a whole new twist to the notion of delegating work. Who would enjoy helping me with this work? Who would enjoy learning how to do this?
When I notice that I have more than enough, I allow myself to act from gratitude and to express gratitude through good stewardship. For the sake of what shall I make this choice? What makes the most sense under our current circumstances? What selections support healthy ambition? How can I preserve or conserve opportunities for another person or another day?

I encourage you to become self-aware of the things you have to do. Check your work life balance and emotional climate as it relates to planning either for the day or for a specific project over a period of days. Then notice the physical sensations that correspond to this emotional climate. How does this change if you move towards a positive growth mindset?

Once you have made your way into this different mindset, see what new possibilities show up. What actions flow from your growth mindset?

Choose Your Actions

So many of us rush blindly through our days, fall into bed exhausted, and wake up the next morning to do it all over again. For many of us, our lives are composed of millions of meaningless moments, all strung together – perhaps with a sprinkling of cherished moments. I’m sure you can think of a few cherished moments in your own life. Maybe your marriage, the birth of a child, or perhaps a heartfelt moment of connection with a good friend. These are the moments when we are consumed with joy and awe. At these moments, we are fully being present. We aren’t worrying about tomorrow. We aren’t trying to rush through the experience to get to the next. We are in the now.

But, why do we wait for major events to honor these moments? Why can’t every day be a cherished moment? Every moment – if we decide to make it that way. I stated above that our lives are filled with meaningless moments, but those moments are meaningless only because we don’t value them. We are hurrying along, focused on other things, not stopping to notice them at all. They come and go without so much as an acknowledgement from us.

Cherish the moment

Cherishing the moment means simply choosing to make each moment count. It is a tiny shift in perception that assigns meaning and importance to each moment. It means stopping to notice the beauty and love around us, and within us. It means being fully present in each moment, because only the present moment truly exists. So many of us worry about the future, hold regrets about the past, and completely ignore the present. When we give the now our full attention, even mundane tasks can become important. Nothing can be changed except our perception, but it makes all the difference.

So how do we shift our mindset? What does it mean to stay in the present moment? Let’s use an example: washing dishes. When most of us wash dishes, we hurry through it, often thinking about the other things we need to get done that day (or the next day). Our minds are scattered all over the place, focusing on everything but what we are doing now. Who can blame us? Washing dishes is not the most exciting experience. However, if we choose to make it a cherished experience, we will want to focus on it. We want to take our time and really pay attention to how the water feels on our hands, how the soap cleanses away the grease and grime, and the sense of satisfaction we get as each dish moves from the dirty pile to clean.

Maybe that still doesn’t sound very thrilling. Let’s look at what else is happening. As we give our full attention to washing the dishes, we are not only “doing,” we are being present. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing or not doing in each moment of our lives, it matters only that we become aware of our own state of being. In those moments, we are fully alive and conscious.

By being in the now, you can show kindness to yourself and others. Kindness is a generosity of spirit. It comes to life when we give of ourselves and our time to be of help to others, without expecting anything in return. When you show kindness to somebody you bring out the best in yourself.

Pay attention to the impact your behavior has on others. Notice your own feelings in association to their reactions. Think about how you feel yourself when somebody else shows you kindness. What you give comes back to you in even greater quantity. When you are kind, you not only get an immediate payback in terms of a feel-good factor, but you will also receive kindness from others .

It is so easy to find ways to be kind to others. Say something supportive when you instinctively feel someone needs to hear it. Offer help without being asked for it. Smile and listen without judgement.

Being kind to yourself means getting your needs met. Be gentle with yourself instead of critical when you feel you’re not performing at your best. Forgive yourself when the need arises instead of beating yourself up. When you get into the habit of treating yourself with kindness, it becomes much easier to extend that consideration and behavior to others.

How to balance your work and lifestyle

We all feel a little off balance at times. Maybe we are having difficulty sleeping or we are stressed. Often during these times our life is focused area too much in one or more areas. Dividing our attention between different activities and finding routines helps us to restore balance.

Here are some tips that may help you to restore balance, especially when working from home. With the COVID-19 pandemic, my situation still hasn’t changed. I am still teleworking. Since we are at home, the fine line between work and home life becomes blurred.

So how do you keep a balance between work and “you” time?

Have A Separate Work-Only Space

Whether you are an entrepreneur, or your company allows you to work remotely, you need to have part of your home that is only used for business. A separate room for a home office is the best solution, but if you don’t have the space for that, a dedicated workstation will do just fine.

Make sure that this space is only used for business purposes (this can be important for tax reasons too). If you’re in your living room, make the boundaries clear by keeping the television and radio switched off and avoid the temptation of doing housework in between tasks. Keep work and home life as separate as possible.

Schedule Downtime

Downtime is just as important as work time. You’ll soon suffer from burnout if you don’t ensure that you get some relaxation. Signal the priority you give to your downtime by scheduling it in your calendar. Be clear about your working hours and resist the temptation to peek at your work emails when you’re supposed to be relaxing.

Stick to A Working Week

Weekends are essential – you need time away from work to recharge. Keep to having specific days that are workdays and two days a week when it’s your weekend time. That doesn’t have to be Saturday and Sunday; you can choose which days work best for you and your business but do take a weekend’s worth of time off.

Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care is vital when you work from home. You might feel tempted to work all hours, but just as you need time to chill, you also need time to exercise, get some pampering, and take care of yourself.

Working from home makes it easier to stick to a healthy, nutritious diet as you’re in control of what food comes into the house. Be sure to take lunch breaks, stay well-hydrated, and get a good night’s sleep.

These techniques may seem too simple to work, but they are actually perfect for helping you change your focus. While you are thinking of good things in your life, it challenges the thoughts that are making you depressed. And by choosing things to look forward to in this day, you notice and appreciate them much better when they come. Happiness does not lie in circumstances as much as it does in our thoughts. There are some who feel lonely even though they are surrounded by loving family, and others who live alone who feel blessed by the love in their lives. Some people have lost so much in their lives, and yet live each day overflowing with joy, because they focus not on what they have lost or don’t have, but rather on what they do have.