life balance – My Sky Is The Limit

People are always asking me how I get everything on my to-do list done. How do I find the time to read ? How can I travel while keeping up with my blog? How do I maintain a healthy work life balance? What’s my secret for a balanced lifestyle?

There are many answers, but one of them came to mind this morning as I sipped my morning cup of tea– mindfulness. Being in the present placed my usual monkey mind to rest. Mindfulness freed my mind from the thoughts of an unclear perspective as I concentrated in the here and now.

I no longer had the problem of not enough time and balancing my life with my work; I had the gift of more than enough to do.

Why is this a gift? Consider this. When you are invited to brunch with your best friends. You are served many delicious foods, more than you can possibly sample. From among the offerings, you choose the ones that you want most. What you choose will depend on your needs, desires, and values. Do you want to try something new? Is there a dish you want to make sure to taste again?

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Sure, you could approach the brunch in a state of “reality show” drama as a die-hard-diva. You can show a face of frustration because you were invited to a brunch to be forced to eat all the selections of food on display. Clearly, it’s more than you can possibly eat. But why would you adopt that point of view? What would you possibly gain?

As I thought about this notion of having more than enough to do, I knew intuitively that I did not have to write every thought on my to-do-list. I don’t have to eat everything at a brunch buffet either. I also knew that accepting that I could not do it all was part of acknowledging my choice. I’m free to choose what I want to do.

Mindset Shift

This mindset shift frees your thinking:

When I notice that I have more than enough, it is natural to ponder on what I want most and why. Asking “what and why” motivates me to set priorities. What would be the most fun? Why do I need to accomplish this task? What would be the most productive?
When I notice that I have more than enough, it is fine to look for how I can share it. It gives a whole new twist to the notion of delegating work. Who would enjoy helping me with this work? Who would enjoy learning how to do this?
When I notice that I have more than enough, I allow myself to act from gratitude and to express gratitude through good stewardship. For the sake of what shall I make this choice? What makes the most sense under our current circumstances? What selections support healthy ambition? How can I preserve or conserve opportunities for another person or another day?

I encourage you to become self-aware of the things you have to do. Check your work life balance and emotional climate as it relates to planning either for the day or for a specific project over a period of days. Then notice the physical sensations that correspond to this emotional climate. How does this change if you move towards a positive growth mindset?

Once you have made your way into this different mindset, see what new possibilities show up. What actions flow from your growth mindset?

Choose Your Actions

So many of us rush blindly through our days, fall into bed exhausted, and wake up the next morning to do it all over again. For many of us, our lives are composed of millions of meaningless moments, all strung together – perhaps with a sprinkling of cherished moments. I’m sure you can think of a few cherished moments in your own life. Maybe your marriage, the birth of a child, or perhaps a heartfelt moment of connection with a good friend. These are the moments when we are consumed with joy and awe. At these moments, we are fully being present. We aren’t worrying about tomorrow. We aren’t trying to rush through the experience to get to the next. We are in the now.

But, why do we wait for major events to honor these moments? Why can’t every day be a cherished moment? Every moment – if we decide to make it that way. I stated above that our lives are filled with meaningless moments, but those moments are meaningless only because we don’t value them. We are hurrying along, focused on other things, not stopping to notice them at all. They come and go without so much as an acknowledgement from us.

Cherish the moment

Cherishing the moment means simply choosing to make each moment count. It is a tiny shift in perception that assigns meaning and importance to each moment. It means stopping to notice the beauty and love around us, and within us. It means being fully present in each moment, because only the present moment truly exists. So many of us worry about the future, hold regrets about the past, and completely ignore the present. When we give the now our full attention, even mundane tasks can become important. Nothing can be changed except our perception, but it makes all the difference.

So how do we shift our mindset? What does it mean to stay in the present moment? Let’s use an example: washing dishes. When most of us wash dishes, we hurry through it, often thinking about the other things we need to get done that day (or the next day). Our minds are scattered all over the place, focusing on everything but what we are doing now. Who can blame us? Washing dishes is not the most exciting experience. However, if we choose to make it a cherished experience, we will want to focus on it. We want to take our time and really pay attention to how the water feels on our hands, how the soap cleanses away the grease and grime, and the sense of satisfaction we get as each dish moves from the dirty pile to clean.

Maybe that still doesn’t sound very thrilling. Let’s look at what else is happening. As we give our full attention to washing the dishes, we are not only “doing,” we are being present. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing or not doing in each moment of our lives, it matters only that we become aware of our own state of being. In those moments, we are fully alive and conscious.

Kindness

By being in the now, you can show kindness to yourself and others. Kindness is a generosity of spirit. It comes to life when we give of ourselves and our time to be of help to others, without expecting anything in return. When you show kindness to somebody you bring out the best in yourself.

Pay attention to the impact your behavior has on others. Notice your own feelings in association to their reactions. Think about how you feel yourself when somebody else shows you kindness. What you give comes back to you in even greater quantity. When you are kind, you not only get an immediate payback in terms of a feel-good factor, but you will also receive kindness from others .

It is so easy to find ways to be kind to others. Say something supportive when you instinctively feel someone needs to hear it. Offer help without being asked for it. Smile and listen without judgement.

Being kind to yourself means getting your needs met. Be gentle with yourself instead of critical when you feel you’re not performing at your best. Forgive yourself when the need arises instead of beating yourself up. When you get into the habit of treating yourself with kindness, it becomes much easier to extend that consideration and behavior to others.

How to balance your work and lifestyle

We all feel a little off balance at times. Maybe we are having difficulty sleeping or we are stressed. Often during these times our life is focused area too much in one or more areas. Dividing our attention between different activities and finding routines helps us to restore balance.

Here are some tips that may help you to restore balance, especially when working from home. With the COVID-19 pandemic, my situation still hasn’t changed. I am still teleworking. Since we are at home, the fine line between work and home life becomes blurred.

So how do you keep a balance between work and “you” time?

Have A Separate Work-Only Space

Whether you are an entrepreneur, or your company allows you to work remotely, you need to have part of your home that is only used for business. A separate room for a home office is the best solution, but if you don’t have the space for that, a dedicated workstation will do just fine.

Make sure that this space is only used for business purposes (this can be important for tax reasons too). If you’re in your living room, make the boundaries clear by keeping the television and radio switched off and avoid the temptation of doing housework in between tasks. Keep work and home life as separate as possible.

Schedule Downtime

Downtime is just as important as work time. You’ll soon suffer from burnout if you don’t ensure that you get some relaxation. Signal the priority you give to your downtime by scheduling it in your calendar. Be clear about your working hours and resist the temptation to peek at your work emails when you’re supposed to be relaxing.

Stick to A Working Week

Weekends are essential – you need time away from work to recharge. Keep to having specific days that are workdays and two days a week when it’s your weekend time. That doesn’t have to be Saturday and Sunday; you can choose which days work best for you and your business but do take a weekend’s worth of time off.

Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care is vital when you work from home. You might feel tempted to work all hours, but just as you need time to chill, you also need time to exercise, get some pampering, and take care of yourself.

Working from home makes it easier to stick to a healthy, nutritious diet as you’re in control of what food comes into the house. Be sure to take lunch breaks, stay well-hydrated, and get a good night’s sleep.

These techniques may seem too simple to work, but they are actually perfect for helping you change your focus. While you are thinking of good things in your life, it challenges the thoughts that are making you depressed. And by choosing things to look forward to in this day, you notice and appreciate them much better when they come. Happiness does not lie in circumstances as much as it does in our thoughts. There are some who feel lonely even though they are surrounded by loving family, and others who live alone who feel blessed by the love in their lives. Some people have lost so much in their lives, and yet live each day overflowing with joy, because they focus not on what they have lost or don’t have, but rather on what they do have.

Lifestyle Assessment:

“There were several roads nearby, but it did not take Dorothy long to find the one paved with yellow bricks. Within a short time, she was walking briskly toward the Emerald City; her Silver Shoes tinkling merrily on the hard, yellow road-bed “.
The Wizard Of Oz

It’s difficult to become motivated when you can’t find your way on the yellow brick road. Perhaps you don’t have the job you want or the relationship, or maybe you’re not in the best financial situation. Deep inside, you probably know what you don’t want, but you haven’t figure out your goals.

Before the COVID-19 pandemic, a close friend of mine died of breast cancer. She was always motivated and so lively. She reminded me that in life, you need to dream and reach your goals. She studied social psychology and worked as a business coach in New York. My friend struggled with dyslexia and a learning disability. She inspired me to write this blog post since she had the habit of writing her goals in a journal. I know that she was fully committed to living life to the fullest. She always worked hard and methodically. She always had a strategy for everything.

The sky is the limit, so ask yourself– How do you envision your life? What would you need in life for it to be more fulfilling and meaningful? How will you find the yellow brick road?

Judy Garland in the Wizard of Oz

If suddenly, you’re a multimillionaire, what will you do with the rest of your life? Will you continue working at your job? Will you spend more time with your family or travel to Africa? Will you start your own business or spend more time with your hobbies?

1. Dream and balance.

All of these are dreams—dreams about possibilities. There is nothing wrong with dreaming, but it’s what you do with it that matters.

According to Shelle Rose Charvet’s Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence, metaprograms in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) determine how we communicate with each other. A dreamer without a method is an options person. Those persons who view possibilities use modal operators such as “could” or “can.” They give you a long list of alternatives.

Many of these options persons are usually creatives, designers, and business entrepreneurs. Somehow these persons seem to gather on Instagram and sell you the dream. I’ve witnessed this “dream selling” quite often on my feed. Some Instagram influencers promise that you will attain their lifestyle easily– travel to Egypt, frolic with ponies in Iceland, ride elephants in Vietnam, and tango in Buenos Aires. These promises sell you a Hollywood ending, a dream come true. They work well for click and bait since you feel as if you know the person you follow as a friend. You watched them grow into someone special. Like them, you believe in the dream, but carrying it out is another story. You buy the webinar and find out that there are too many steps and that it requires money and connections. Before trying, you give up, which is fine because this dream is a possibility for those who run on the options metaprogram; it is not a reality. There are too many possibilities, so you move on to Tik-Tok, Youtube, or Twitch. The cycle continues over and over again.

Charvet explains that those who operate on procedures tend to be great salespeople. Take a look at Kim Kardashian’s post:

Kim K: I wake up, workout and change into fresh pajamas every day LOL, so I had to make the best, most comfy pajamas and loungewear w/@skims

Clearly, she is describing her morning routine in steps and in which she sells the pajamas. Her language is about sequential order. Hence, her success in salesmanship.

Once you balance the why (options) with the how (procedures), you can strive to evaluate your dream. The time you take to dream is time for your creativity to grow. Don’t undermine this moment; be mindful of it, accept it, and write down your dream in vivid detail.

List the things that get you out of bed in the morning. These are all the things you are willing to devote time and energy to each day.

I wrote the following list in my journal:

Faith
Family
Friends
Finances
Romantic relationships
Personal growth
Being healthy
Being organized and using time wisely
Being happy at work.
Contributing to the world.

2. Prioritize.

Ask yourself what is most important, and when you are finished writing your list, take a few moments to prioritize the items. Figuring out your priorities is crucial because we often have so much “stuff” going on in our lives that we lose track of who we are and what we want out of our life. We end up moving from one crisis to another. We run around in circles with paying bills, fixing the car, or rushing to work to value the moment. It’s easy to neglect ourselves, friends, and family. Find your purpose by asking yourself a series of exploration questions.

What would inspire me to get out of bed at 5 AM on a Saturday?
What haven’t I experienced yet that I’ve always wanted to?
What haven’t I given yet that I’ve always wanted to?
What haven’t I learned that I’ve always wanted to?
What part of me haven’t I healed yet that I still need to?
What are my passions?
Am I doing now what I really want to do?
If not, do I even know what I would like to do?
What can I do to serve others?

Write down the answers to these questions and journal. These should be your honest answers–not what you should do out of obligation or what others expect you to do.

3. Combine all your answers into a life’s purpose or mission statement.

Your purpose statement will answer the question, “Why am I here? What is my true calling in life?” You get to define your mission, so what do you genuinely want to do with your life? In your journal, write, “My purpose in life is…” Then, expand on your objective, reflecting on your dreams, priorities, and the questions listed above.

My journal reads like this:

My purpose in life is to be caring, mindful, and passionate about my relationship with God, my family, and friends. I want to be motivated to help others every day to the best of my ability. I wish for those surrounding me to feel special and loved. I want to learn how to let go instead of becoming defensive when met with demands and stress.

4. Think of how you can use your passions and dreams to serve the world.

I will make the world a better place by standing for what I believe. It is essential that in times of crisis, you can stay strong in your values but, at the same time, take a non-judgmental stance.

Write down the following prompt. “I will make the world a better place by…” and elaborate. Get all of your ideas down on paper. This journaling exercise will probably take you at least 10 minutes – though it could take hours if you overthink the task. Then, go back and read the content.

Is it a wake-up call? If not then, keep writing until you find clarity.

When you do define your life’s purpose, it will feel and be an emotional awakening.

If your purpose is clear, then you can concentrate on steps to set up your main goals and become motivated. Daily motivation enables us to strive to work towards future goals and lead us to fulfill our life’s purpose.

5. Set your goals.

It worked for Dorothy when she went to see the Wizard (another options metaprogram person at best). With the help of her friends, the Tin-Man, Lion and Scarecrow, Dorothy paved her way down the Yellow Brick Road. She accomplished the goals she set out once she figured out the procedure.

The mere act of setting a goal motivates us to work to achieve success. Goals drive an individual’s daily motivation. It is best not to get overwhelmed with attaining a huge goal too quickly; instead, you should take small steps to accomplish it. Divide them up into phases to achieve your goals. Make sure that they are measurable for you to take accountability. Don’t be afraid of failure without trying. And if you do fail, then accepting defeat drives persistent motivation and problem-solving.

6. Define your attitude.

A positive attitude is a source of daily motivation. Believing that one of your goals is too difficult to achieve will eventually prevent you from achieving these goals. A negative attitude will set you back and lead you off the Yellow Brick Road towards being attacked by flying monkeys. To complete your goals, you must be able to tell yourself that every goal can be attained with effort. If you tell yourself that you can do it, most likely you will. Never underestimate the power of the mind and of creating daily motivation.

7. Focus on faith.

Spirituality and religion can also improve daily motivation. Religion – no matter what kind – encourages mindfulness and internal motivation. People often depend on their faith when life challenges them. Prayer and meditation inspire those who might otherwise turn to alcoholic beverages, doughnuts, or heroin to nurture their spirits. Religion may help some people to be more mentally and physically healthy. Even taking pleasure in nature’s beauty by hiking on a trail can trigger a sense of peace.

We all feel a little off-balance, but by focusing on routines, our balance can be restored.

Quick tips:

Limit your online time (emails, forums, instant messaging) to two hours a day.
Leave the house every day in the morning, even if you don’t need to be somewhere. You can go to a coffee shop and read the paper, visit a library or a museum, or go for a long walk or bicycle ride.
Keep regular sleeping hours. If you are having difficulty sleeping, at least assign certain hours for sleeping, resting, reading, or quiet television (if that makes you drowsy).
Save the last hour of the day for quiet and reading books or television – no phone, no computer, no work.
Step away from people who are pulling you off balance with drama or their own negativity. Usually, you only need to do this until you feel balanced again.
Occupy your thoughts and time, mostly with positive ideas and activities.
Have an assortment of healthy friends in different areas of life. You will obtain emotional support from positive friends.
If you have been watching a lot of television, limit your time to no more than 3 hours a day.
Balance the time in your day between different activities and efforts, even at work. When too much energy is placed on one task, it can make you feel more stressed or dissatisfied. Pace yourself with deadlines so that you won’t have to carry out marathon sessions to catch up.
Laugh and love yourself!

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