Tag: mindfulness

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mindfulness

can mindfulness increase your self-esteem?

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.

— Golda Meir

Haven’t you noticed how confident individuals have a certain charm in how they present themselves? They have a swagger in their walk and a captivating smile. Confident individuals are self-assured. Confidence allows them to have a positive view of themselves. You can be like that too! You know how much you are able to achieve. But first, you will need to figure out the following: Can mindfulness increase your self-esteem?

The potential is definitely there. You need to trust that your instincts, thinking, and abilities are sufficient. When you don’t believe in yourself, you struggle to simply accept who you are. Basically, you question yourself because you don’t trust your thinking. Essentially, you live in self-doubt.

Learn to let go. You go through life feeling as if you’re not educated enough or talented enough. Then, you think that you are not pretty enough. You carry out an imposter syndrome, a collection of feeling inadequate if you reach a certain success.

How Imposter Syndrome Affects Your Self-Esteem

Initially, imposter syndrome was studied in white, upper-middle-class women. It was thought to be a phenomenon of over achievement in this population. Studies later showed that the imposter phenomenon was not an isolated event. Men also experienced imposter syndrome. A recent study shows that some minorities are vulnerable to imposter syndrome. Minority status can become a source of stress in achieving goals. The study showed that African American students reported higher minority status stress compared to Asian Americans and Hispanic students. However, Asian Americans reported greater imposter feelings. The researchers believed that many Asian American students have a higher inner pressure to achieve.

These lead us to think about our own inner pressures to avoid imposter syndrome. You judge yourself, thinking of what you should have said or done. You find that you fall short. So ask yourself, can mindfulness increase your self-esteem and how?

What mindfulness does to help you change your low self-esteem is to build your confidence. You replace the feelings that you’re not good enough with the trust that you are better. Using mindfulness calls for you to not dwell on any negative experiences where you feel that you failed.

It helps you to not focus on the future. It helps train your mind to focus on who you are right now. You see that who you are is simply good enough. You learn to accept yourself – and with that, you build strong confidence in yourself.

Ways that Mindfulness Can Boost Self-Esteem

Practicing mindfulness can boost your self-esteem. Mindfulness can lead you to a life being lived in the present. With living in the now comes a non-judgmental acceptance of who you are.

Many people have an internal voice. This internal voice has been conditioned to speak this negatively by us. The disturbing results are that when we allow this internal voice to have a negative way, we can trigger stress, anxiety, and even depression.

This self-talk impacts your well-being and how you feel about yourself. Learn to be aware of this negative self-talk. If you call yourself names, that’s a sign that you engage in negative self-talk.

Some people call themselves stupid. When they consider taking action this internal self-talk tells them why they can’t. You start telling yourself things like “I’m not smart or pretty enough”.

When you allow these thoughts to run wild, you can get into the mindset that you can’t do something. You feel unworthy and then your feelings follow that internal self-talk until it becomes a belief.

This habit can be so automatic within you that the negative self-talk plays constantly in your mind. It becomes like white noise. It buzzes and you get used to it. What mindfulness does is bring your attention to the inner dialogue that’s destroying your self-esteem.

You learn what this internal conversation is doing to harm you and how it’s impacting your emotions. Mindfulness helps you learn to accept yourself without expectations or blaming. You gain skills to raise your confidence and accept yourself.

With acceptance, we learn about ourselves. It helps us see that we are not perfect. People who aren’t accepting often blame others for all problems, even when it’s their fault.

The key is to find the right balance of learning about yourself and keeping up your self-esteem.

3 Top Confidence and Self-Esteem Boosters

  1. Always evaluate each situation you find yourself involved in. Don’t make assumptions as they can be wrong, without the right information. You want to collect information to form a choice. You want to eliminate any possibility that might influence your thinking. For instance, you might believe that you are the cause of a problem without gathering any evidence. If you are the cause of a problem, own up to it and try to make the situation right.
  2. Don’t just take the blame for everything. If you discover that you are not the cause, then speak up and let that be known. Self-critical people will tend to blame themselves automatically.
  3. It’s important to pick your battles. If you find something minor that came up, you may want to be mindful and let it go.

If you find it difficult to trust yourself, it may be a sign that you lack confidence. You cannot develop any trust without confidence. Feel secure in your abilities and be strong in your convictions. But, know when to accept your faults.

Acceptance of your strengths and weaknesses helps in developing confidence. That may seem new to you. But think about it, no one is born with confidence. Confidence is a process that you learn to develop. You learn to have a swagger in your walk. You learn to portray yourself as self-assured. Take steps to develop your confidence and trusting yourself will flow.

The biggest detractor from confidence is fear. When you give in to your fears, you will diminish the chances of building up your confidence.

Start out with small steps that you have been afraid to try in the past. Many outcomes will turn out better than you imagine.

Visualize the positive. If you try to anticipate what will happen, and it is always a negative outcome, you will never make a decision.

Take on those small tasks without thinking about what will happen. Be mindful and open about the outcome. This action will build up your confidence as you’ve never seen before.

You should ask questions when you aren’t sure about the situations you face.

Confidence is not about having all the answers. It’s about knowing where to find them and whom to rely on with the knowledge that you need to move forward. It’s also about giving up on one way to solves a problem and finding a new solution.

Confidence is about taking responsibility for your choices and actions. When you make your decisions, you own them, even if they don’t work out. When you increase your confidence, you will automatically grow to trust yourself. Then, you can accomplish more than you ever imagined. Can mindfulness increase your self-esteem? Yes, it can especially if you use loving-kindness.

To learn more about loving-kindness listen to this free mini podcast:

Loving-Kindness Activities

These activities are proven to help your self-esteem. By following these activities you will learn to accept yourself. This is key to a loving-kindness practice. Remember not to be harsh towards yourself. Soften your stance to quiet the inner voice within you.

Free Printable:

How To Develop A Relationship
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Categories
mindfulness mindset

how to balance your lifestyle with mindfulness

People are always asking me how I get everything on my to-do list done.  How do I find the time to read ? How can I travel while keeping up with my blog?  How do I maintain a healthy work life balance? What’s my secret for a balanced lifestyle? 

There are many answers, but one of them came to mind this morning as I sipped my morning cup of tea– mindfulness.  Being in the present placed my usual monkey mind to rest.   Mindfulness freed my mind from the thoughts of an unclear perspective as I concentrated in the here and now.  

I no longer had the problem of not enough time and balancing my life with my work; I had the gift of more than enough to do. 

Why is this a gift? Consider this. When you are invited to brunch with your best friends.  You are served many delicious foods, more than you can possibly sample.  From among the offerings, you choose the ones that you want most. What you choose will depend on your needs, desires, and values. Do you want to try something new?  Is there a dish you want to make sure to taste again? 

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Sure, you could approach the brunch in a state of “reality show” drama as a die-hard-diva.  You can show a face of frustration because you were invited to a brunch to be forced to eat all the selections of food on display. Clearly, it’s more than you can possibly eat.  But why would you adopt that point of view? What would you possibly gain? 

As I thought about this notion of having more than enough to do, I knew intuitively that I did not have to write every thought on my to-do-list. I don’t have to eat everything at a brunch buffet either. I also knew that accepting that I could not do it all was part of acknowledging my choice.  I’m free to choose what I want to do.

Mindset Shift

This mindset shift frees your thinking: 

  • When I notice that I have more than enough, it is natural to ponder on what I want most and why.  Asking “what and why” motivates me to set priorities. What would be the most fun? Why do I need to accomplish this task? What would be the most productive? 
  • When I notice that I have more than enough, it is fine to look for how I can share it.  It gives a whole new twist to the notion of delegating work. Who would enjoy helping me with this work? Who would enjoy learning how to do this? 
  • When I notice that I have more than enough, I allow myself to act from gratitude and to express gratitude through good stewardship. For the sake of what shall I make this choice? What makes the most sense under our current circumstances? What selections support healthy ambition? How can I preserve or conserve opportunities for another person or another day?

I encourage you to become self-aware of the things you have to do. Check your work life balance and emotional climate as it relates to planning either for the day or for a specific project over a period of days. Then notice the physical sensations that correspond to this emotional climate.   How does this change if you move towards a positive growth mindset?

Once you have made your way into this different mindset, see what new possibilities show up. What actions flow from your growth mindset?

Choose Your Actions

So many of us rush blindly through our days, fall into bed exhausted, and wake up the next morning to do it all over again. For many of us, our lives are composed of millions of meaningless moments, all strung together – perhaps with a sprinkling of cherished moments.  I’m sure you can think of a few cherished moments in your own life. Maybe your marriage, the birth of a child, or perhaps a heartfelt moment of connection with a good friend. These are the moments when we are consumed with joy and awe. At these moments, we are fully being present.  We aren’t worrying about tomorrow.  We aren’t trying to rush through the experience to get to the next. We are in the now.

But, why do we wait for major events to honor these moments? Why can’t every day be a cherished moment? Every moment – if we decide to make it that way. I stated above that our lives are filled with meaningless moments, but those moments are meaningless only because we don’t value them. We are hurrying along, focused on other things, not stopping to notice them at all. They come and go without so much as an acknowledgement from us.

Cherish the moment

Cherishing the moment means simply choosing to make each moment count. It is a tiny shift in perception that assigns meaning and importance to each moment. It means stopping to notice the beauty and love around us, and within us. It means being fully present in each moment, because only the present moment truly exists. So many of us worry about the future, hold regrets about the past, and completely ignore the present. When we give the now our full attention, even mundane tasks can become important.  Nothing can be changed except our perception, but it makes all the difference.

So how do we shift our mindset? What does it mean to stay in the present moment? Let’s use an example: washing dishes. When most of us wash dishes, we hurry through it, often thinking about the other things we need to get done that day (or the next day). Our minds are scattered all over the place, focusing on everything but what we are doing now. Who can blame us? Washing dishes is not the most exciting experience. However, if we choose to make it a cherished experience, we will want to focus on it. We want to take our time and really pay attention to how the water feels on our hands, how the soap cleanses away the grease and grime, and the sense of satisfaction we get as each dish moves from the dirty pile to clean. 

Maybe that still doesn’t sound very thrilling. Let’s look at what else is happening. As we give our full attention to washing the dishes, we are not only “doing,” we are being present. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing or not doing in each moment of our lives, it matters only that we become aware of our own state of being. In those moments, we are fully alive and conscious. 

Kindness

By being in the now, you can show kindness to yourself and others.  Kindness is a generosity of spirit. It comes to life when we give of ourselves and our time to be of help to others, without expecting anything in return. When you show kindness to somebody you bring out the best in yourself.

Pay attention to the impact your behavior has on others.  Notice your own feelings in association to their reactions. Think about how you feel yourself when somebody else shows you kindness. What you give comes back to you in even greater quantity. When you are kind, you not only get an immediate payback in terms of a feel-good factor, but you will also receive kindness from others .

It is so easy to find ways to be kind to others. Say something supportive when you instinctively feel someone needs to hear it. Offer help without being asked for it. Smile and listen without judgement.

Being kind to yourself means getting your needs met. Be gentle with yourself instead of critical when you feel you’re not performing at your best. Forgive yourself when the need arises instead of beating yourself up. When you get into the habit of treating yourself with kindness, it becomes much easier to extend that consideration and behavior to others.

How to balance your work and lifestyle

We all feel a little off balance at times. Maybe we are having difficulty sleeping or we are stressed. Often during these times our life is focused area too much in one or more areas. Dividing our attention between different activities and finding routines helps us to restore balance.

Here are some tips that may help you to restore balance, especially when working from home. With the COVID-19 pandemic, my situation still hasn’t changed. I am still teleworking. Since we are at home, the fine line between work and home life becomes blurred.

So how do you keep a balance between work and “you” time?

Have A Separate Work-Only Space

Whether you are an entrepreneur, or your company allows you to work remotely, you need to have part of your home that is only used for business. A separate room for a home office is the best solution, but if you don’t have the space for that, a dedicated workstation will do just fine.

Make sure that this space is only used for business purposes (this can be important for tax reasons too). If you’re in your living room, make the boundaries clear by keeping the television and radio switched off and avoid the temptation of doing housework in between tasks. Keep work and home life as separate as possible.

Schedule Downtime

Downtime is just as important as work time. You’ll soon suffer from burnout if you don’t ensure that you get some relaxation. Signal the priority you give to your downtime by scheduling it in your calendar. Be clear about your working hours and resist the temptation to peek at your work emails when you’re supposed to be relaxing.

Stick to A Working Week

Weekends are essential – you need time away from work to recharge. Keep to having specific days that are workdays and two days a week when it’s your weekend time. That doesn’t have to be Saturday and Sunday; you can choose which days work best for you and your business but do take a weekend’s worth of time off.

Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care is vital when you work from home. You might feel tempted to work all hours, but just as you need time to chill, you also need time to exercise, get some pampering, and take care of yourself.

Working from home makes it easier to stick to a healthy, nutritious diet as you’re in control of what food comes into the house. Be sure to take lunch breaks, stay well-hydrated, and get a good night’s sleep.

These techniques may seem too simple to work, but they are actually perfect for helping you change your focus. While you are thinking of good things in your life, it challenges the thoughts that are making you depressed. And by choosing things to look forward to in this day, you notice and appreciate them much better when they come. Happiness does not lie in circumstances as much as it does in our thoughts. There are some who feel lonely even though they are surrounded by loving family, and others who live alone who feel blessed by the love in their lives. Some people have lost so much in their lives, and yet live each day overflowing with joy, because they focus not on what they have lost or don’t have, but rather on what they do have.

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mindfulness

how to replace multitasking with mindfulness

A quick animated video explaining multitasking and mindfulness.

Multitasking and mindfulness? I’m guilty of multitasking or doing more than one task at a time. I can read an article, text, promote my blog, and write at the same time. Do I get anything accomplished? Yes, but slowly and with much effort. Multitasking creates a paradox. You might think that you will be more productive, but in reality, you are not.

Brain in overdrive

Because all of those tasks are happening simultaneously, your brain is forced to react quickly, moving back and forth by shifting your focus. Studies have shown that not only individuals that multitask are prone to not get things done, but they’re more apt to face burnout. Other findings include higher levels of stress and a poor quality of life for those individuals who engage in endless multitasking. A study from the University of Pittsburgh showed that adolescents who have multiple social media accounts suffer from greater depression and anxiety. Clearly, multitasking has its drawbacks.

Your brain wasn’t meant to overload itself with sensory input in such little time. When you multitask, you’re splitting your attention between things on your to-do list and figuratively you’re also splitting yourself. You might be checking things off the list but your brain is not registering the present moment. You trigger a nervous reaction since your brain now cannot focus on a single item completely because it is processing the other items. For instance, when you’re in a relationship and your partner is speaking and you’re on your cell phone, you’re not truly listening to them. Taking a computer analogy, multitasking can overload the RAM in your brain.

Multitasking and Mindfulness

Multitasking can cause people to feel less empathetic toward others. People might not listen to your words, and they might not be aware of the full scope of the situation. There’s another downside to multitasking. When you’re not fully present with what you’re doing or who you’re spending time with, you miss things. You’ll discover that you have a tendency to spend a lot of time and energy on things that don’t matter.

Multitasking keeps you distracted. The cure for multitasking is mindfulness. This means that you’re focused on the present. You’re giving whatever task you’re doing 100% of yourself. It means whoever you’re interacting with isn’t having to compete for your attention because you’re 100% present with them. Being fully present can help to deepen relationships with those you’re keen on.

It can also make you better at your job, more understanding of your coworkers, and happier in all aspects of your life. When you’re being mindful, you’re focused. You engage your mind and your emotions together. By being focused, you’re aware of the task. Getting it done will be easier and you won’t be stressed.

When you focus on a person, you’ll be able to have a deeper connection without multitasking. You’ll be fully engaged in your own life and in the lives of the people you interact with. Mindfulness can teach you how to keep your focus on the moment. It can show you how to enjoy the day-to-day tasks and situations even if they’re mundane. Clearly, multitasking and mindfulness are not compatible.

Photo by Polina Zimmerman on Pexels.com

Free printable:

Work from home checklist for a balanced life:Download

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mindfulness Motivation procrastination

7 productivity tips and tricks for perfectionists to gain mindfulness

Are you a perfectionist? 

Let’s be clear. If you have very high but rigid standards, then you might have trouble adjusting to the daily demands of life. To overcome perfectionism, it’s important to grow your mindset. Accept that you will give it your best shot instead of feeling as if you are cutting yourself short. By trying one of these seven simple productivity tips and tricks, you can motivate yourself back into action. 

Give each of these tips a try over the next few weeks and find the ones that work best. You will know that they positively work for you when you suddenly realize that you are dancing in your kitchen out of pure joy. Your to-do list will be checked off automatically with no excuses. Whenever you find yourself procrastinating, needlessly postponing decisions or actions, come back to this list. Then, employ one or several of these productivity tips and tricks. Your productivity will soar. 

Sure to Work Productivity Tips and Tricks

Girl with hand on forehead. Blog graphic pointing towards "now" sign.

Being mindfully aware of procrastination is a skill in itself because those individuals who procrastinate can do a great job of hiding it from themselves. You might find excuses like waiting for inspiration or needing more information before tackling a project. You convince yourself with more excuses and it becomes harder to differentiate which are the true hurdles. Be honest with yourself and you will start overcoming true challenges not those which you have imagined.

1. Pick Something Small 

One of the big reasons we procrastinate is because we become overwhelmed. There’s too much to do, so we choose to forget about it for a little while. It’s a coping mechanism, just not the one giving you accurate results. Instead, pick one thing, something small that you can do right now to move you in the right direction. Making small choices creates momentum and forces you to take action. 

2. Set A Timer and Go 

Another trick that works like a charm is to set a timer. Your cell phone has one built-in, as do most smartwatches. If you misplaced your smartphone or are procrastinating, setting the alarm, then let Alexa know that she needs to remind you. She usually replies that she didn’t get that. But no worries, Alexa understood you correctly. She’s just procrastinating like you. Repeat your command and allow double the amount you need for a particular task to complete it. For instance, if you plan for fifteen minutes to pay your bills, make that thirty. The same applies for uncluttering your closet. Again, the goal is to start and do something. 

3. Bribe Yourself 

Make up your own rewards. Remember there’s nothing wrong with bribing yourself if that’s what motivates you. Your boss bribes you with a paycheck, so you know this tip works to perfection. Work on a home improvement project for an hour. Then watch as someone else does the same work on an episode of Property Brothers on HGTV. Maybe promise yourself ice cream when you finish painting the living room. Just come up with something that motivates you and go for it. Remind yourself of the prize at the end of the project whenever you’re tempted to put things off for another day. 

4. Find An Accountability Partner 

It’s all about competitive accountability and peer pressure. First, find someone else who’s either trying to be more productive or beat procrastination themselves. Second, start check-in with each other daily. Third, share what you want to accomplish and what you will get done today. Knowing you have to report to someone else makes you take action. It’s also motivating to see the other person do the same.  Accountability is the principle behind weight loss and other self-help groups. It is widely recognized as a highly effective approach. 

5. Measure Your Progress 

When you’re working on something long-term, such as losing thirty pounds, it can be tempting to procrastinate. Simply, it doesn’t seem like you’re making much progress. Your confident that those initial fluctuations are just changes in water weight. Instead, prove to yourself that you are getting closer and closer by tracking or measuring it. Make a chart, use a spreadsheet, keep a bullet journal. Find a way to measure your progress towards your goal and use it to motivate yourself to keep going. 

6. Remind Yourself Of Your Why 

There’s a reason you’ve decided to do that thing you keep putting off. Think about why you want to get it done. Is it so that you can get your tax refund? So you can find the clothes you want to wear? Find out your reason why. Write it down and then keep it front and center on a sticky note on your bathroom mirror. Look at it every day before you get ready to get to work. 

7. Just Start

I’ve saved the best for last. It’s the easiest but also the most powerful. Just get started. That’s right, sometimes all you have to do is just get moving in the right direction. Do something. Do anything even if it’s something minimal. You get over that initial hump and start to build some momentum with the use of these productivity tips and tricks.

Disclaimer: Procrastination is a habit – a deeply ingrained pattern of behavior. That means that you will not just break it overnight. Habits are broken when act on not practicing them. Please use as many approaches as possible to maximize your chances of overcoming procrastination. 

Don’t let your perfectionism stop you from reaching your goals

You wake up in the morning motivated and ready to tackle whatever it is you’ve been procrastinating on. Maybe you’re excited about a new project. You drink your coffee, get dressed, and get ready to get to work. Then something suddenly comes up. You are a perfectionist so you get suckered into a non-productive task because you find your to-do list not good enough or pretty enough. 

Perhaps you open your Instagram and get sucked into spending the next few hours on your phone. Maybe you feel that you need to finish your binge-watch marathon on Netflix. It doesn’t matter what it is, the point is that there are things that will try to distract you into procrastinating. 

Gain Mindfulness

Listen to the clip above. In less than one minute, you will gain mindfulness to overcome your challenges.

Take Action With A Simple Productivity Strategy

There’s a simple strategy you can use to keep procrastination from happening. It’s to make the important project you’ve been delaying a priority and work on it first thing every morning. The whole process starts with planning the night before. Before you call it a day, sit down, and think about the tasks you want to get done the next day. Identify what needs to get done.

Write these three tasks down in your journal. 

These tasks don’t have to be long (see tip. 1). In fact, I find it helpful if they are all items I can take care of quickly. When you get up in the morning, look at your list and work on these three most important tasks before you do anything else. Don’t look at your email. Don’t text. If at all possible don’t even answer the phone or attend meetings before these three tasks are crossed off. Make them your number one priority. 

Aside from that, simply being mindful of smart devices that decrease your productivity is helpful. When you find yourself putting something off, look back and see if you can pinpoint what caused it. Then take action towards preventing it from happening in the future. 

Free Ebook

Do you want to be able to overcome your procrastination? Get your free ebook, Growth Mindset, and learn how to learn from your setbacks. Overcome your fears, by clicking on the link.

Categories
Morning routine Time management

find time for morning meditation

To tell you the truth, mornings can be quiet hectic. It’s so difficult to find time for morning meditation. If you have a young family and children to get dressed and out the door, you know this first hand. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way. No matter how busy you think you are first thing in the day. Earlier, I shared with you how the first few hours in the morning set the tone for the entire rest of the day. Do you want that to pull out you hair out of frustration? Do you want to be frantic? Or do you want to be in control? It’s up to you to make the change by embracing two simple concepts to form a habit.

Form a Habit

To form a habit, you form a three-part psychological pattern called a “habit loop.” First, there’s a trigger, that tells your brain to go into automatic pilot. Neuroscientists have traced our habit-forming behaviors to the basal ganglia, a part of the brain. The basal ganglia deals with pattern recognition. Second, there is the routine that forms from practicing this new behavior. Thirdly, your brain receives the benefits of the reward, which is the peace found in meditation.

1. Get up Earlier by 30 Minutes.

It’s tempting to hit the snooze button first thing in the morning to catch a few more minutes of sleep. It’s even harder to set the alarm early enough that you have plenty of time for everything you need to get done. If you’re as lazy as I am, moving up the alarm by 30 minutes to carve out a little extra time can be rough. Think about your goal. You want to wake up to meditate. Be clear about what you want to accomplish. After those first few mornings, it won’t be so difficult and challenging; it’s something you’ll get used to.

Getting up early enough and avoiding the snooze button at all costs is the key to an unrushed morning. Here’s the problem with cutting time too short or hitting the snooze button too many times. It gets you behind even before you get a fresh start. You have to rush to make it out the door in time and any little challenge along the way turns into a huge problem. Like me, not being able to find the car keys is suddenly a major life crisis.

Remember, your morning sets the tone for the rest of your day. If you start chasing down time and running around in circles, that’s likely how you’ll spend the rest of your time.

Make a new habit by getting up early and move on to a new morning routine. You are able to control what needs to get done. By taking one small step, getting up early enough, you set yourself up for a sunny disposition and an amazing productive day.

2. Restructure Your Routine

Spend a little time thinking about your current morning routine and where you’re spending time. Look for things you can change to find more time for the things you really want to do. For example, if you want an extra 20 minutes in the morning to meditate, look at what you could take care ahead of time. Plan, eliminate or delegate to make that extra time.

If you spend a lot of time running to Starbucks like me, get in the habit of calling ahead. Or get your spouse to get coffee ready, so all you have to do in the morning is push a button. Teach the kids to make their own breakfast. They should take the dirty dishes to the sink, rinse them, and put them in the dish washer. Make sure clothes are set out the night before and that book bags, purses, briefcases, and car keys have a designated spot. I keep my car keys in a hanger in the mud room. I’m ready to go each morning. Small changes like this to your morning routine can make a positive difference.

Think of yourself as a time saver! I challenge you to come up with a few small changes that will save you at least 30 minutes each morning.

Determine That Meditation Is Crucial to Your Well-being

Your morning is not about cramming a to-do list. Your morning is focusing on what is important. Sometimes when you read about time management, you star thinking that “doing” is the important step to become productive. Although, “doing” can create momentum, as a short term strategy but not long-term. The more you do without determining your outcome, the more likely you will burn-out and blame yourself.

To set out to meditate for 15 minutes, evaluate your current morning routine. Ask yourself what is the best use of your time in the morning. Compare your perfect morning with your existing morning routine. What aren’t you doing on your ideal morning? If you start by cutting things out, finding time to focus on what’ important to you becomes so much easier. 

When you start setting time for mediation in your morning routine, consider that the practice of meditation is important for your general health. The key word here is practice since it requires commitment, consistency and perseverance. By making time, for meditation your well-being will improve. 

Meditation is a mind and body practice that focuses on the interactions among the brain, mind, body, and behavior. It may reduce blood pressure and irritable bowel symptoms (IBS) and inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). Meditation may help those who suffer symptoms of anxiety and depression. There are also studies that have shown that people with insomnia have improved their sleep through meditation practice. In short, meditation is beneficial for your health and should be part of your morning routine. It’s all about finding time for morning meditation. 

1. Eliminate Busy Work

Remember, the autopilot mode. Busy work is something you do out of habit that doesn’t have to be done every day. Even Elon Musk, sets up a system to check crucial emails pertaining to Tesla or Space-X in the morning. If you are doing it out of habit, then it’s time to rethink.

2. Earn Back Precious Time

The second way to quickly earn back time is to see if you’re doing things for others that they can do themselves. Kids are the perfect example. We start by fixing their breakfast, making their lunch, cleaning up after them, and making sure their backpack is packed and ready to go. When they are little. We focus on these things, but all too often we continue to do them long after they’re capable of doing things on their own. The same applies for our spouse. Maybe there was a time when you had less to do in the morning. It made sense to take on the majority of morning chores. It’s time to get help from your partner. A few small changes may be all it takes to make time in your busy morning for what’s important to you.

How To Find Time for Morning Meditation

The best way to plan for a morning meditation is to set aside double the time you will need. Let’s say that the meditation is for 15 minutes, then set up for 30 minutes in your calendar. The point is that you have enough time to complete the meditation and self reflect without feeling rushed. This extra time gives you the desired space to create a moment of self-compassion in your meditation. It shows that you are taking the first step to care about yourself. 

To meditate on the go, you can resort to YouTube videos such as this one on Mindful Poetry. This will the subject of a whole new blog post soon. You’ve already taken the first step to find time for morning meditation.

Free Meditation Book

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Categories
grit mindfulness mindset

finding your growth mindset with grit and mindfulness

Finding you growth mindset with grit and mindfulness blog post cover graphic with pink background. A woman with a business suit on top of a cliff.

Scrolling down my Instagram feed this morning, I noticed that there is so much speculation over mindset, especially on social media. Influencers and business coaches on Instagram sell online courses on achieving a positive growth mindset and overcoming negative thoughts. On Facebook, there are dedicated groups on the subject to grow your business presence. The posts in these groups are all about manifesting through unlimited positivity. The exact definition of a growth mindset becomes lost in a sea of posts. After my morning tea, I thought about the possibilities of finding your growth mindset with grit and mindfulness.

What is mindset?

Carol Dweck
Photo: Carol Dweck Credit: Satheesh Gopalan / CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)

According to Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, mindset is the view you adopt, which determines how you live your life. It determines how you see the world and make decisions. In other words, it is your perspective or your view of the world. It’s your beliefs about your abilities and qualities that form how you do things or see things. It’s your usual attitude or mental state.

Think about your many strengths and talents. Are you artistic? Are you creative? How you answer these questions defines your mindset and provides clues as to how you view the world and yourself. Your mindset shapes your reality and your perception of what you can do beyond your limits.

A growth mindset is created by believing that your talents can be reached through effort, hard work, and strategies. It is not innate like a fixed mindset, which depends on your gifts. The growth mindset strives to achieve through learning, while the fixed mindset can stagnate.

Let’s be mindful of the matter.

Most influencers have a distorted view of a growth mindset. One of the pitfalls is thinking that our mindset is always in a state of growth. As you encounter new experiences, your mindset develops and evolves. To do so, we need to become aware of our mindset, including failure. Take, for example, the founder of Apple, Steve Jobs. He successfully pioneered telecommunications with the iPhone and grew his company, but he lacked growth in relationships, especially with his daughter.

What is mindfulness?

Almost all mindsets are mixed. Hence, this is where the concept of mindfulness fits in. Mindfulness is a state of awareness in the present moment, when your mind is conscious of your experience. It includes thoughts and feelings, sensations, and breathing. In mindfulness, you accept everything with an attitude of non-resistance and balance. Thus, you can experience everything fully without self-judgment.

With this mindful awareness, you will notice that there are moments in which we fail to reach our goals or compare ourselves to others. Once we recognize our vulnerability, our fixed mindset, then we can nurture it. If we become mindful of our unresolved issues while acknowledging the unsung moments of joy, then we can handle our mixed mindset.

Your mindset is the force behind whether you thrive or avoid challenges, view failures, setbacks, or persevere. It is more about the process than the destination.

Grit

You will also need grit, which refers to a passionate perseverance toward a goal even when overwhelmed with challenges. Mindfulness will make you aware that grit is needed to reach your goal.

These two concepts, grit and mindfulness, are compatible but not exclusive. A new study showed that being aware is correlated with grit in students in individualistic societies, such as ours. Collective societies might not depend on mindfulness. Definitely, more research is needed in this area.

Grit is the tendency to maintain effort and interest towards long-term goals.

6 top tips to finding your growth mindset with grit and mindfulness to deal with the following belief system:

  1. Poor self-image. If you constantly see yourself as a failure, sending self-defeating messages to your mind that you will fail at whatever you try to accomplish. Solution: Turn failures into challenges. Keep a journal describing your thoughts. It will help with problem solving no matter the challenge. 
  2. Self-victimization. If you’ve been a victim of bad experiences or been hurt by others, then you might still be holding onto those moments. Solution: Use mindfulness to let go of the past and live the present. 
  3. Social media envy. If you see the unnatural glamorous lifestyles of other people online then, it might make you feel worse about yourself. You might devalue what you have. You focus on what you don’t have or aren’t doing. Solution: Think about what you do have and show gratitude. Own it up!
  4. Feel work is a burden. If you dread going to work or complain about doing the work, then change your outlook. Solution: Think about your job as a means of providing value to others and as having an impact on you and others around you. Being able to work gives you the opportunity to contribute to society.
  5. Obsess about things you can’t control or change. If you complain about what you can’t control then your mind will fill up with everything you don’t like. Solution: Identify how you can change and control your own actions and thoughts to make the experience more positive. Stop complaining and start taking actions that will bring you a greater sense of accomplishment and abundance. 
  6. Lack gratitude for what you have. If you focus on what is wrong with things or the world then it is difficult to learn to let go of the negative. Solution: Focus on identifying the positive things you are grateful for every day.
Infographic on mindset vs. mindfulness.

Failure

If you want to learn more, listen to the top six ways that failure is as important as success in this 2 minute audio podcast:

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Book cover: Growth Mindset.
Categories
Morning routine

why I started a blog and a morning routine

My morning routine started the night before. It consisted of late-night social media posts, watching YouTube videos, and setting my alarm to 6:00 am but snoozing until 7:00 am. Hurriedly, I brushed my teeth and dressed for work.

But I needed to make a short stop before at Starbucks.

Why did the barista take so long to make me a flat tall white? Why were there so many people in line? Why didn’t I order from the iPhone app instead?

Does this sound familiar?

My mind was full of questions without any real answers. I stared at my watch as time ticked away. Clearly, I procrastinated by making excuses for myself.

This pattern repeated itself over time and what was supposed to be a joyous morning routine became painstaking when I arrived at the office. It became my new normal. I became accepting of this status quo of arriving rushed, flustered, and late.

And one day, my boss called me into his office. I thought that I was on the verge of losing my job.

It was like a scene of the Devil Wears Prada and I had to make a change right then and there. #befree #beyou

I took a centering breath remembering what I had once learned from Dr. Tara Brach that breathing will help me regain my balance. I inhaled, relaxed my body, and allowed my breath to connect to my inner wisdom and strength.

As I sat across my boss, I recognized the problem– I was a procrastinator. This was the hardest and most uncomfortable part of it all. But the recognition of the problem led me to a sense of acceptance. It wasn’t that I was accepting the status quo of becoming a procrastinator, but that I acknowledged that I was a procrastinator. I recognized the moment just as a moment without my mind adding more to it. It was the beginning of an act of mindfulness. I allowed the moment to happen and I offered my boss a cup of Starbucks coffee.

Then I probed the situation. Instead of asking the question of why I asked how.

How would I feel if I were the boss?

It was this act of investigating his feelings that led me away from my self-centered thinking. What was I believing? I started searching for truth without judgment.

But inside, I listened to those self-limiting beliefs that overpowered me. Yes, those beliefs that tell you that you are not good enough and that you are not worthy. I breathed and let them pass and concentrated on the moment.

I began by nurturing and showing self-compassion. I treated myself with child-like kindness. I imagined being bathed by a warm feeling that everything will be alright.

And it was. . .

In short, I started a morning routine because I wanted to be mindful of myself, others, and the time I spend with them. With this blog, I hope to inspire you to be kind to yourself. It’s never too late to start.

In my next post, I will show you how I developed a morning routine.

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