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Gratitude Positivity Self-care

10 things nobody told you about practicing gratitude

What you focus on comes to pass. When you practice gratitude you are training your mind to be more positive and this has some interesting physical implications. Practicing gratitude and positive thinking directly affects your brain chemistry. By focusing on gratitude and happiness, you control the release of certain chemicals and neurotransmitters that influence how you feel both physically and mentally. Let’s take a look at how that works. 

Dopamine and serotonin

Focusing on happiness and gratitude leads to the release of two “feel good” neurotransmitters – dopamine and serotonin. These two neurotransmitters are responsible for warm feelings. Yes, there are other ways to get them like exercise and chocolate for example. Focusing on positivity, making a conscious effort to be more grateful and happier changes the balances of neurotransmitters in your body and your brain. 

Fewer Stress Hormones 

When you are anxious or scared, the body releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It helps you react fast when you’re about to be hit by a car and make you run faster when you need to get away from someone. But it works against you when it’s a response to something that isn’t a physical danger. Like worrying about contracting COVID-19 or what your co-worker thinks of you. 

Stress hormones can lead to weight gain, depression, anxiety, and they take a toll on your heart. One of the most powerful strategies to reduce stress is practicing gratitude and positive thinking. So choose happiness and know that you are doing wonders for your mental and physical health. 

So what’s the bottom line? When you are mindful of all of the things you are grateful for in your life then you can learn to appreciate all the good even in the midst of the bad and cultivate happiness. Stop waiting for the right person, the right circumstances. Don’t wait for happiness to find you. Be happy right now. In this moment. And use gratitude to help you get there. 

Adversity – Staying Positive When Life Falls Apart

We take a lot of good things for granted in our everyday life. A roof over our heads, a steady paycheck, a loving partner, the ability to go out for a run on the weekends. The specifics vary, but one of the big advantages of modern lives is the many awesome things we can count on. We’re not used to falling short, so when something happens and our life starts to fall apart, it’s easy to fall into thinking patterns that focus on lack and despair. 

Sometimes the bad things are a result of choices we made. Sometimes they are outside of our control. In either case, it is up to us to decide how we react to each crisis. One piece of advice that is important to remember no matter what adversity you face is to make sure you don’t forget about how blessed you really are. Gratitude can turn what we have into enough. 

There’s a quote I love and would like to share with you by Melody Beattie. Here it is: 

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” 

Think about how you can start to do this in your everyday life. A good place to start is to simply take a deep breath and pause for a moment when things go wrong and everything is starting to feel overwhelming. Then come up with one little thing you are grateful for during this time. It can be something as simple as being able to breathe fresh, clean air, or living to fight another day. 

Find that something and start to build on it. What else are you grateful for? Keep making that mental list until the desperation starts to lift and you can start to think clearly. When you do, you can start to find your way out, no matter how bad things seem at first. And remember, you never know what good might come from the struggle you are facing right now. 

But What If You’re Stuck In Negativity?

Practicing gratitude and focusing on positivity is easier said than done. Especially if you are struggling with anxiety and depression. If you ever find yourself spiraling into the deep pit of depression then get help if you need it.  There’s nothing wrong with talking to a counselor or getting therapy. It’s the smart thing to do. 

When things aren’t quite that bad, there’s a lot you can do to get yourself unstuck from all that negativity. Start by acknowledging them and putting them into words. How exactly do you feel? Is it anger or annoyance? Frustration or disappointment? Try to be specific. Dig deep. Yes, it can be painful and some people prefer to avoid thinking about these feelings, but the first step to getting yourself unstuck is determining exactly where you are emotionally. 

Once you find the true reason for your negative feelings, you can start to work to resolve them. What that looks like will vary from case to case. The important takeaway here is that it gives you something specific and meaningful to do. You no longer feel out of control or helpless. It’s something you can work with and that alone will help you think more positively. 

In addition, it allows you to distance yourself a little from the negative feelings. You may still be upset with your spouse, but it also gives you the space to remember everything you love about him or her. It gives you the space to act outside of the negativity and have a good relationship while you work things out. And sometimes, it may give you the mental space you need to realize that it is up to you to decide if you want to continue to dwell in the negativity, or choose a route of forgiveness. You can’t change everything or everyone. Sometimes your path toward positivity is to acknowledge your negative feelings and then let them go. 

Of course all of this is easier said than done. A journal can be a great tool to help you along the way. Try talking to a close friend or confidant when you feel stuck and you can’t see a path towards positivity. An outside perspective can give a lot of clarity. Meditation can be helpful as well. 

Last but not least, surround yourself with positivity.  Get outside and enjoy nature. Spend some time helping others. And don’t forget to remind yourself regularly of everything you have to be grateful for. 

Turning Gratitude Outward – Sharing With The World

Practicing gratitude regularly has a bit impact on your life, your health, and your mental and emotional wellbeing. But it doesn’t end there. It will also have a big impact on those around you and the world at large when you start to turn your gratitude outwards and share it far and wide. 

Now let’s take this a step further. What if, instead of simply practicing gratitude for yourself, you take it out to the world at large? What could happen? What force of good could you create? There is no telling how many lives you could influence for the better. Let’s take a look at how you, I, and everyone else reading this can start to turn their gratitude outward and share it with those around them. 

Random Acts of Kindness 

Do something kind for a stranger. This can be something as simple as giving an open and honest smile to a stranger on the street or a few kind words and a compliment for the cashier ringing up your groceries. Or it could be taking a meal to an elderly neighbor or buying a drink for the person behind you in the coffee shop drive-thru line. Make it a goal to do something kind for someone each day and do it intentionally. 

Respect And Thank Those Who Serve You 

There are so many people in our communities that serve us from first responders to the waitress at your favorite restaurant. Make it a point to be respectful and thank them with words, with actions, and in the case of that waitress with a generous tip. Show them how grateful you are for everything they do to make your life easier.  

Volunteer In Your Community 

What better way to show your gratitude than to give your time and your skills. There are many opportunities for anyone to volunteer in various projects and for a variety of different causes. See what’s available around you and make an effort to put in some time to volunteer each month. Not only is it a wonderful way to give back and spread gratitude, but you’ll be amazed at how much you get out of it. 

Develop Deeper Relationships 

Last but not least, I would like to encourage you to work on developing deeper relationships. You will have a stronger sense of gratitude and lead by example when you make the time to listen and actively work on coming closer to the people you love. 

Now that you have some ideas, the ball is in your court. What will you do today, this week, or this month to spread gratitude in your own circle of influence? Go out there and make an impact. Make the world a better and more grateful place. 

Living Abundantly By Showing And Sharing Gratitude 

Would you like to live abundantly full of happiness and contentment? How about a life with excellent physical and mental health? Greatly increase your chances of that happening by showing and sharing gratitude. That’s right, something as simple as practicing thankfulness and expressing how grateful you are for the people and things you have in your life has a powerful impact. Here are some simple things you can do starting today to show your gratitude. 

  1. Tell the people you love how grateful you are for them. We often take the ones closest to us for granted. Make a point to do it regularly and be specific to make it meaningful. 
  2. Think about the people who challenge you. Express your gratitude for how they help you grow and make you stronger. 
  3. Take a few minutes each week to write a letter or email to a person who has made a difference to you at one point or another. This could be a teacher, a mentor, an old friend … anyone you can think of. 
  4. Give the gift of your time to someone to show without words how grateful you are to have them in your life. This is particularly important for the elderly people in your life. Your time with them is limited. Make the most of it. 
  5. Start using a gratitude journal and make the time to write down three things you are grateful for every single day. It will brighten even your worst days and put things into perspective. 
  6. Forgive yourself when you don’t reach all your goals, or things don’t go your way. Be grateful for what you have and what you are learning from each experience. 
  7. Compliment the people around you. Make them feel good about themselves. It’s a powerful way to show gratitude in an indirect way. Small, meaningful gifts and acts of service do the same. 
  8. Pay it forward. Do something nice for someone you work with or a total stranger. Random acts of kindness are a wonderful way to spread gratitude and bring more positivity into the world. 
  9. Give a hug and a kind word to someone who’s struggling. Show them through physical affection that you’re there for them and grateful to have them in your life. 
  10. Show your body and mind gratitude for what they do for you day in and day out by taking care of yourself and investing in regular self-care. 
Categories
mindset Positivity relationships

being optimistic in your relationships

There are several benefits to leading a life of optimism. Research shows those people who choose to be positive bounce back more quickly when getting sick, are more resilient in life in general, sleep better and even live longer. While this is wonderful news for us as individuals, how does optimism impact our relationships?

How Does Being Optimistic Affect Those Around You?

While there are tons of benefits to being optimistic for ourselves such as being resilient, having optimum health, a balanced mindset, and an overall sense of well-being, there are plenty of benefits for our relationships too.

Work, Family, and Friendships

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Optimism impacts relationships. When we are optimistic, we spread good cheer and are more approachable. We have the power and potential to set and influence the tone of our day at work, school, home, as well as in social settings.

Have you ever been excited to go on an outing and someone else in your group is acting like a “Debby Downer”? To tell you the truth, this happens to me quite often. Debby makes immediate impact by taking everyone else in the group down a negative spiral. Maybe you have been greeted by an employee in a store who is downright rude. How do we meet that attitude? If we match upset with upset, now we have two angry individuals.

If we meet upset with calm and patience, we not only impact our inner being but theirs as well. This is a true win-win situation.

Think about it. The adage “Happiness is contagious” does stem from optimism.

Positive Expectations in Romantic Relationships

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In addition to setting the tone in family, friendship, and even work relationships, optimism gives us the power of positive expectations. Worry about a relationship ending and it is as if this will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Take on being secure and confident, and just watch your romantic relationships thrive. Being optimistic in your ability to resolve conflict and problem solve together will make for a happier, healthier relationship.

Overdoing Optimism

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Is there such a thing as overdoing optimism? Getting stuck in traffic when you are already running late or spilling your latte on your shirt on the way out the door are all bumps in the road of a busy life. Pretending that it does not matter or isn’t frustrating is not the best course of action. Being around someone who is “too nice” or “pleasant all the time” can have an impact on our relationships. If you’ve ever been around someone who is always happy all the time, you might find it to be a bit irritating. You might even think that they are not being authentic.

Having a personality that is optimistic yet real is a wonderful invitation for other people to be real and be optimistic as well. It is perfectly normal to get upset and frustrated, but a true optimist will feel those negative feelings of frustration, take action, and move on with their day. Staying too high on positivity gives the idea that negative feelings are fine to stuff down and suppress and staying angry all day because of one negative incident that morning doesn’t work either.

A true optimist knows it is perfectly acceptable to get frustrated and move on just as quickly. How does this have a positive impact on your relationships? When an optimist is a role model of gracefully navigating all of life’s ups and downs, other people are positively impacted, as well. When you are optimistic, you shine your light and invite other people to do the same.

To learn. more on how you can be more positive, start enjoying the simple things:


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Categories
mindfulness Positivity

3 little tricks on how to overcome negativity

When you experience strong negative emotions, it may seem difficult to build any resilience to difficult life experiences. How can some people give up while others just pick themselves up, keep calm and carry on as if nothing happened? The secret on how to overcome negativity is to use coping skills that are flexible and that you can adapt to your situation. You can learn to use mindfulness, and develop 9 positive attitudes to overcome negativity in this guide

Use Mindfulness Coping Skills

Be Flexible

By seeing negative events in your life as flexible, short term situations, you can more easily move on. Let’s imagine someone who sees these negative events with a fixed mindset. To them, that disappointment they felt with themselves or that failure they felt, is static. It’s always there. Nothing they can do will change their story of the event fact and the disappointment in their lives. 

Someone who may feel entrenched in their negative feelings finds it harder to remove themselves from those feelings and change direction. It’s like getting stuck in a ditch. Those people who are willing to see emotions as passing understand how to let go and change direction quickly. They find solutions to jump over the ditch by building a positive mindset. Those people who build a positive mindset learn how to overcome negativity faster. 

So what can you do to help you adopt this outlook? 

Learn to Accept and Adapt

When one bad thing enters their life, it starts to spread like an illness. It makes you use up all your energy by over focusing on the negativity. The negativity spreads from one task to the next. You are unable to get anything done since you are exhausted from negativity. Sound familiar? Now everything is just a mess! It’s time to learn to accept and adaptand this starts by recognizing the situation.

Just because you don’t get something done the first time doesn’t mean you won’t get it done at another point in the future. No one writes a book, paints a portrait or drives a car the first time they try.

Mindfulness

When you’re working on something and it causes you to think negatively about a task, mindfulness can center your thoughts. It gives you a calm feeling. It can help you overcome negativity. 

Using mindfulness techniques, you can maintain a clear focus on your goal. You will be able to make better choices to increase your productivity by simply unleashing your intuition. That means that you’ll focus on thoughts, ideas, and you will take positive action. Mindfulness prevents you from having to overthink situations. 

Improves Focus

Mindfulness improves focus. It lessens anxiety which can derail your productivity. It allows you to keep moving forward. Mindfulness enables you to find an inner satisfaction which lets you be fully engaged in the task. 

Improves Social Interactions

This will make a difference not only in what you get done but in how you get it done. Your interactions with others and with yourself will help you learn how to overcome negativity and change for the positive. Observe how you carry yourself in social interactions. 

Improves Creativity

You’ll gain a greater sense of commitment for the follow through. Mindfulness is a technique that can be used to improve your cognitive skills. This unleashes your thought processes to free your creativity. 

So, you learn to act rather than to react. With mindfulness comes a greater sense of confidence in your abilities and in your skills. Rather than think negatively you’ll learn to foster a can-do attitude toward whatever you’re doing. 

Work On Your Attitude

Having the right attitude helps you overcome negativity. Start by becoming more aware of your moods as you go about your day. Make an effort to be grateful and find the good side of things. Over time your positivity will increase, and it will help you stay on track and stay motivated. 

We all face setbacks. We all make mistakes. How we deal with them is what set’s successful people apart from the rest. Work on your positivity and find a lesson in everything that happens. You’ll come out on the other side stronger and better than before. 

Check your attitude and find the joy in everything you do. Keeping a journal can help, it makes you focus your thoughts. You can look back and see what of the things you worked and helped you make progress. Another powerful tip is to write. Create a journal or file of encouragement. Fill it with positive images and motivational quotes. Browse through the journal or file any time you need an extra boost of positivity.

9 Ways to Build A Positive Attitude 

1. Purpose

Highly positive people are able to comprehend and internalize the bigger picture. They see how their work fits into the whole, and therefore don’t start feeling like the smaller components of the journey are meaningless.

2. Optimism

Positive and motivated people envision a future. They gain energy to aim for a happy outcome. They are able to overcome setbacks from negativity. 

3. Self-Esteem

It’s hard to do anything when you don’t feel like you can do it. But positive and motivated people know their strengths, and they believe in themselves. They also acknowledge their weaknesses and grow from them. 

4. Energy

Positive people have the requisite energy—mental, physical, or emotional—to move forward to overcome negativity. 

5. Persistence

People with high levels of positivity are motivated. They don’t just give up when the going gets tough. They buckle down for the ride. 

6. Perspective

Highly positive and people don’t get it twisted with the small stuff. They know how to sort through life’s concerns and ignore the little things that could pull them off course.

7. Self-Reflection

Positive and motivated people reflect on the process and move forward with intelligence and strategy.

8. Humility

A humble person will have an easier time carrying out their plan, taking feedback, and adjusting course as necessary. Their attitude is more positive. They will not be offended—their eyes are on the prize, and they’ll take the help they need to get there.

9. Give Yourself Reasons to Celebrate

Positive and motivated people enjoy success and they celebrate it. They appreciate the hard work just done, and look forward to a new journey.

How To Overcome Negativity

If you are dealing with deep-rooted anger, then to overcome negativity consider healthy ways to deal with your anger. Sometimes it’s good and right to get mad. Positive change can come from being angry at injustice or inequality. Righteous or justified anger from being mistreated can be a great motivator for change. 

But if you’ve had bad experiences of anger, for instance, poor role models in your childhood, you might experience anger as a destructive bomb. Learning anger management so you can be in control of angry feelings can have a positive effect on your relationships. Here are some expert strategies to help you manage your anger.

1. Understand Yourself

Understanding why you’re angry and where it’s coming from is key. Maybe you’re stressed and grumpy, fatigued, or unwell. Perhaps the reason for your anger is apparent. 

Once you understand your anger and its sources, you can start to deal with it by eliminating the negative. 

2. Write It Down

Turning your feelings into words is a powerful act. Just write whatever comes into your head, even if it doesn’t make sense. 

The act of writing down your thoughts stops them from running in circles in your head and gets them down on paper. Chances are they might not even seem so big or insurmountable. You might even begin to see patterns, so you can understand what triggers your angry feelings. 

3. Take Action

Once you know what’s making you angry, you can plan workarounds for it. Be aware of your triggers and minimize them. For instance, get enough sleep, and exercise and take time out for self-care.

You won’t be able to avoid being angry sometimes, but you can take control, so you’re not vulnerable to anger and frustration. 

4. Don’t Brood

Brooding on the cause of your anger is actively unhelpful. It keeps you stuck in those negative feelings, keeps you stuck in victim mode, and keeps you powerless. 

Brooding is also bad for your blood pressure. You build up a constant stress response within your body. Adrenaline which is excellent in an emergency, spikes with brooding. 

5. Don’t Rehash Anger

Talking over your problems can be helpful if you share with a trusted friend. But be careful to keep it focused, or you might end up rehashing your troubles over and over again. Like brooding, complaining can keep you from moving forward and finding solutions to your problems. 

Find out how to overcome negative bias now!

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