Categories
mindfulness relationships

choosing friends with mindfulness

Friends can enrich our lives. They can help us be better people. But having the wrong kind of friends can be detrimental to your emotional well-being. If you choose friends who treat others unkindly, that can create a negative space in your life. 

The old saying that birds of a feather flock together means that you will become like the company that you keep.

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What you want to have is the kind of friends who will be there for you.

They’ll be happy for you when you have something to celebrate. They’ll hurt with you when something hurts you. They’ll be there for you through the ups as well as the downs of life. 

You want friends who enrich or add to your life rather than ones who make it worse and cause a drain on your emotions. By using mindfulness, you can choose the kind of friends that are healthy to have in your life. 

These will be people who will be open and honest with communication and there will be freedom between the two of you to speak truthfully. You’ll find that when you choose friends mindfully, you’ll have people in your life that you can engage with and even when you disagree, it will be a positive experience. 

Mindfulness can help you attract the right people into your life that can become lifelong friends. It all begins with your focus. Mindfulness teaches you to keep your focus on the positive aspects of other people rather than on their faults. 

When you focus on the positive thoughts you can have toward others, you get back positive responses from other people. By keeping your mind on what’s good about other people, it affects how you feel about them, you perceive them in a different way and it shows in your attitude toward them. 

Mindfulness teaches you to reject the negative thoughts about others and to keep your mind focused on what you like about the person. Even in the best of friendships, there can be disagreements and hurt feelings. 

Mindfulness can help you choose friends wisely and then nurture the relationships once they’re in your life. You’re never going to find a perfect circle of friends. Each person in your friendship circle is going to have traits that will bother you. 

They may not react to things in the way that you would. Mindfulness teaches you to release the judgmental thoughts toward others and instead see them just as you are – flawed or imperfect, yet worthy of love and friendship. 

Mindfulness can give you the wisdom to help you choose friends that can create a give and take relationship – rather than a one sided friendship where someone does all of the giving while the other person does all of the taking. 

When you practice mindfulness, it makes you become the kind of person who attracts good friends, the kind that everyone wants to have. 

Here are three top three tips to help you feel satisfied with your life as you make good friends:

Categories
mindset Positivity relationships

being optimistic in your relationships

There are several benefits to leading a life of optimism. Research shows those people who choose to be positive bounce back more quickly when getting sick, are more resilient in life in general, sleep better and even live longer. While this is wonderful news for us as individuals, how does optimism impact our relationships?

How Does Being Optimistic Affect Those Around You?

While there are tons of benefits to being optimistic for ourselves such as being resilient, having optimum health, a balanced mindset, and an overall sense of well-being, there are plenty of benefits for our relationships too.

Work, Family, and Friendships

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Optimism impacts relationships. When we are optimistic, we spread good cheer and are more approachable. We have the power and potential to set and influence the tone of our day at work, school, home, as well as in social settings.

Have you ever been excited to go on an outing and someone else in your group is acting like a “Debby Downer”? To tell you the truth, this happens to me quite often. Debby makes immediate impact by taking everyone else in the group down a negative spiral. Maybe you have been greeted by an employee in a store who is downright rude. How do we meet that attitude? If we match upset with upset, now we have two angry individuals.

If we meet upset with calm and patience, we not only impact our inner being but theirs as well. This is a true win-win situation.

Think about it. The adage “Happiness is contagious” does stem from optimism.

Positive Expectations in Romantic Relationships

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In addition to setting the tone in family, friendship, and even work relationships, optimism gives us the power of positive expectations. Worry about a relationship ending and it is as if this will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Take on being secure and confident, and just watch your romantic relationships thrive. Being optimistic in your ability to resolve conflict and problem solve together will make for a happier, healthier relationship.

Overdoing Optimism

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Is there such a thing as overdoing optimism? Getting stuck in traffic when you are already running late or spilling your latte on your shirt on the way out the door are all bumps in the road of a busy life. Pretending that it does not matter or isn’t frustrating is not the best course of action. Being around someone who is “too nice” or “pleasant all the time” can have an impact on our relationships. If you’ve ever been around someone who is always happy all the time, you might find it to be a bit irritating. You might even think that they are not being authentic.

Having a personality that is optimistic yet real is a wonderful invitation for other people to be real and be optimistic as well. It is perfectly normal to get upset and frustrated, but a true optimist will feel those negative feelings of frustration, take action, and move on with their day. Staying too high on positivity gives the idea that negative feelings are fine to stuff down and suppress and staying angry all day because of one negative incident that morning doesn’t work either.

A true optimist knows it is perfectly acceptable to get frustrated and move on just as quickly. How does this have a positive impact on your relationships? When an optimist is a role model of gracefully navigating all of life’s ups and downs, other people are positively impacted, as well. When you are optimistic, you shine your light and invite other people to do the same.

To learn. more on how you can be more positive, start enjoying the simple things:


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