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habits

new habits made to last

Let’s talk about forming new habits. We all have times in our lives where we intentionally want to change our behavior for the better and create new habits for ourselves. This could be getting in the habit of eating healthier and drinking more water. Maybe it could be exercising or taking the dog for a daily walk. Perhaps it could be work related, such as finishing up projects on time. There are so many areas in our lives that could be improved and made easier if we created new habits. 

Of course, getting into the habit of doing something is often easier said than done. We seem to acquire bad habits without any effort, but getting into a “good” habit can be a little more challenging. 

Let’s break it down into a three step process that makes it easy to follow until we’ve internalized the new behavior and made it a true habit – something we do automatically without having to think about, like brushing our teeth. 

  1. Decide What You Want To Do 

The first step is to decide what you want that new habit to be. Be as specific as possible. Don’t just tell yourself you want to exercise more. Instead say something like “I will go for a 30 minute walk every single day”.  Deciding what your new habit will be and committing to when and how you’re going to do it, is half the battle. 

2. Remind Yourself To Get It Done 

The next few days should be smooth sailing. You’re motivated and excited to get this done. Sticking to your new habit isn’t an issue. But a few days in you’ll notice that it’s easy to slip back into old habits. 

Maybe it’s raining and you don’t really want to go out and walk. Or maybe your day just gets away from you. This is when it’s important to have a daily reminder. Set an alert on your phone or add the new habit to your daily to-do list for a while. 

3. Make It Part Of Your Routine Until It Becomes A Habit 

Which brings us to the last step. It takes some time before a new behavior becomes a true habit. Until then, a routine will work to your best advantage. Even before the new behavior becomes automatic, a routine will help you get it done without having to spend a lot of willpower or relying on daily reminders. 

Make that daily walk part of your after dinner routine, or change from grabbing a snack at the vending machine at work at 10:00 in the morning to packing a healthy snack. 

Congratulations! Decide to create the new habit, practice the routine until it’s second nature and you’ll be well on your way to forming a new good habit. 

The Hidden Relationship Between Habits and Willpower 

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It’s hard to keep up willpower for any length of time. Yes, we can stick to a low-fat 1,000 calorie diet and go hungry for a week or two, but eventually our willpower fades. It goes kaput! And yes, we can do exercise we hate for a while that is until we run out of willpower. 

But what about getting up to take the kids to school every morning, brushing our teeth or going to work every day. Those may not be our favorite things to do either, but we do them daily without the risk of running out of willpower. That’s because they have become habits. They are so ingrained in what we do and who we are that we do them without even considering skipping a day or a week. We don’t have to make a conscious decision each day to shower or drive to work. It’s just what we do – a habit. 

When you start to think about it, there is a hidden relationship between habits and will power. When you first want to build a new habit, it takes a lot of will power to get it done day in and day out. As you start to establish that habit, it becomes easier and easier to do until you don’t even have to think about it anymore. 

Just being aware of this process helps us stick it out. We know we don’t always have to make such a big effort to go work out or skip the donut for breakfast. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. We know eventually it will become habit to go out for a run first thing in the morning and grab some fruit or fix some eggs for breakfast. 

While we’re in that transition from willpower to habit, we can use tools to make it easier. Use a to-do list or set a reminder to help stay on track. Find an accountability partner so the two of you can motivate each other and help bolster that willpower when it starts to fade after the first enthusiasm wears off. Even something as simple as laying out your running clothes the night before and keeping your sneakers by the door will make it a little easier to go out for that run. 

Do what you can to help your willpower along until you have made the new behavior a true habit. After that it’ll be easy and automatic and you’ve created a new lifelong habit. 

How Long Does It Really Take To Create A New Habit? 

They say it takes 21 days to create a new habit. That’s kind of a weird idea though, isn’t it? It doesn’t take that long to form a bad habit. And sometimes no matter how hard we try it takes us a lot longer to form a new habit. 

So how long does it really take to create a new habit? The answer is that it depends. It depends on your mindset and it depends on how big of a change it is from what you are doing now. If it is your habit to eat a bowl of ice cream at night and you switch from regular ice cream to a low sugar frozen yogurt version, it’s probably not going to take you very long to make that new habit. Giving up ice cream altogether though or cutting out all sugar on the other hand might take a lot longer. 

When we ask that question, what we really want to know is how long do we have to tough it out before it gets easier. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel where we don’t have to try so hard anymore? In other words, when will this new behavior become automatic? 

While it will be different from one person to the next and even from one habit to the next, there are a few things to keep in mind. 

It’s easier to make a new habit than get rid of an old one. Be prepared to work a lot harder to give up checking your email every 2 minutes or snacking late at night. Whenever possible, try to replace an old habit with a new one. For example if you’re wanting to give up coffee, brew a cup of herbal tea in the morning and throughout the day when you would usually reach for your cup of Joe. 

Habits will form faster if you stick to the same time and environment each day. Instead of going for a walk whenever, keep your sneakers next to the door and schedule your walk every day at 6pm, right after dinner for example. 

A constant reminder of why you’re trying to change your behavior is also helpful. Remind yourself every day that you’re exercising so your body stays strong and you can go play with the kids or grandkids in the yard. Or put up a picture to remind you that you’re making frugal habits so you can one day purchase your dream home. Keep your reason why you’re changing front and center and then be prepared to stick it out. Yes it will take some time to make new habits and replace old ones. But it will be well worth it in the end. 

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Categories
Self-care

8 tips for self-care: I wish it were self-care Sunday

Sometimes we are so busy with our daily hustle that Sunday meets Monday, and we tend to forget our self-care routines. An easy way to remember a self-care routine is to dedicate one single day of a week to fit it into your life. This is the start of self-care Sunday. 

Why Choose A Self-Care Routine on Sunday?

Sunday is the start of the week and a day of rest for many of us. It’s the perfect day to dedicate solely to yourself.  Forget chasing after the kids, the grumpy husband or the laundry. Self-care Sunday is all about you choosing a day to unwind from your weekly activities. It is a time to reflect and plan for the week ahead. By dedicating one day out of the whole week to your self-care, you are able to take advantage of the downtime. Also, you will improve your self-esteem. Let’s work on a quick routine

Setting Up Your Weekly Self-Care Routine

First, carve out time in your schedule for self-care Sunday. Don’t compromise your time with extra chores or rushing to get things done for Monday. Dedicate this time for you. Focus on your self-care on Sundays, whether that means an hour during the day, or changing the entire routine for the whole day. 

Think of self-care Sunday like a reset day. By resetting the button on your computer, you can reboot your life.  You not only get your planning done for the week, but you give yourself some time to relax and unwind. Your body rests and your mind grows in creativity with self-care. Remember our morning routine and how daydreaming helped us think of what we really wanted to accomplish. Downtime strengthens your imagination. It becomes your creative time.  

How is Self-Care Sunday Different from Ordinary Daily Self-Care?

There is no difference other than the day. In fact, you can probably carry out this routine on a Wednesday if you had the whole day off.  My work doesn’t allow that luxury. I chose Sunday because it is easy to remember and reminds me of the song by the Bangles. 

“I wish it were Sunday since 
 that is my fun day. My I don't want to run day.”


You still want to choose activities that help you to relax and that promote your overall wellness. Don’t feel pressured to cram all your self-care routines before or after work. 

Think About Your Current Sunday Routine

In order to turn Sunday into your weekly self-care day, you need to consider your schedule. This self-reflection helps you determine if these are things that can only be done on Sundays. Maybe if you move these tasks to another day you give more time to yourself.

Make a list of all you do every Sunday first. Then look at your list, and discard anything that isn’t really necessary or might no longer be serving you. With what is left, determine if any of those activities can be moved to Saturday. This is the trick to establishing a self-care Sunday.  

For instance, if you do a lot of cleaning and chores on Sundays, free some of your time on another day. Dividing tasks and running daily quick 5-minute room pick-ups works great. In this way, you will finish your daily cleaning in no time to free your Sunday.

Just because you have committed time to your self-care routine, doesn’t mean it becomes a recurrent boring task. For example, you might decide to practice belly dancing with your girlfriends one week or go on a solitary walk another week. We strive on variety.

Sometimes, what you choose as your self-care activity changes because of illness or a change in weather. Continue to make adjustments based on your schedule. Revisit what you are doing for self-care often. As your needs change, so will your self-care and what is actually going to benefit you the most. Remember that what works best for you is going to be an activity that helps you feel relaxed and improves your mood. Choose an activity that you love to do!

Ideas for Sunday Self-Care Activities

Self-care Sunday is more about dedicating a day to yourself each week. This dedicated time is important especially if you are too busy during the week to really focus on you. Here are some activities that can be great to do on Sundays: 

1. Let yourself sleep in 

This one is the hardest for me since my body wakes up before the alarm. This is the day that I allow myself to snooze it.  If you don’t get to sleep in during the rest of the week, at the very least give yourself this time on Sundays! Your body (and mind) needs the rest. 

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2. Make brunch at home

This is my friend’s Sunday routine tip. Her husband actually cooks up brunch every Sunday even if she is on a diet. Her home is like a restaurant. Sometimes, I visit her just for the crêpes and omelets. She pops open a bottle of champagne every Sunday. No wonder she is my best friend.

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3. Go outdoors

 You can also enjoy more time with your kids without cell phones and video games.  Go outside and literally play! Enjoy the fresh air and exercise. Ride bicycles around your neighborhood or have a picnic at the park. Walk a new nature trail, bird watch, and take photographs.

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4. Have an hour or a whole day of pampering 

You might not be able to dedicate the entire day just to self-care. So, another solution is to at least fit in some pampering time. This includes spa time.  Buy yourself a manicure set and follow a Youtube tutorial.  Unwind with a quick facial routine. I watch Dr. Dray on Youtube and her tutorials are from the drugstore. 

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5. Catch up on your reading or creative projects 

This is the perfect time to pick activities you enjoy. Maybe there is a book you have been wanting to finish or play the piano. Learn to read music or a new language. 

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6. Get ready for the week 

Self-care can also mean just giving yourself to meditate by doing nothing.really reset and prepare for the week ahead.

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7. Volunteer your time

Looking for something more meaningful and fulfilling? You might like to volunteer somewhere as your self-care. Look into local community centers or animal shelters that are open on Sunday and see if they need any help. 

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8. Join a local club 

Another social activity that helps with your self-care is joining a local club, like a book club. It will encourage you to read more. You can get together once a week with your book club to chat over tea.   I personally enjoy my camera club meet-ups.

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