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clutter mindfulness

cluttered life? try mindfulness

Clutter is so easy to accumulate. The reason that it’s easy for things to get cluttered is because we’re not mindful of what we have. We can have physical clutter and we can have emotional or mental clutter.

This can happen with every area of your life – from your health to your closets to your relationships. You want to get rid of clutter because it hangs onto you, you don’t hang on to it. It clings to you and it’s difficult to get rid of easily.

Let’s face it clutter can make you feel stressed and leave you less free time to enjoy your life. But mindfulness can quickly allow you to cut through the clutter. Most people hold on to clutter because they assign the possession some kind of emotional significance. It means something to them. For example, your friend holds on to a diamond engagement ring from her ex-husband although she divorced him three years ago. It sounds silly, but it is hard to let go sometimes.

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A teddy bear might still be in the closet because it was the last toy that your ex-boyfriend gave you. So you associate the teddy bear with love. You then think about him and can’ r let go. Yes, these things happen all the time especially after breakups.

It’s hard to delete the tech clutter too like the thousands of messages you keep on your smartphone. These messages accumulate. The worse part of it is when you buy a cloud service for storage. You start paying for something that you don’t need.

Enough about exes. . .

One of the reasons that so many people struggle to get rid of things, both physical and emotional, is because the decluttering process can be painful and overwhelming – especially when you look at it as a whole.

Mindfulness can help you get rid of clutter because it allows you to maintain your focus on one area or one issue at a time that needs to be dealt with. You’ll be able to simplify your life, keep what needs to be kept and let go of what you need to be free from.

Focus only on what truly matters to you. By using mindfulness to help you clear out the clutter, youíll get rid of stress, too. The things we keep and the emotions we wonít let go of can be reminders of what was.

You might think that if you don’t address them, then you don’t have to deal with these things. But clutter hovers and you sense it undermining you. You sense the clutter will take control. When you let mindfulness help you declutter your life, you’ll be able to maintain a better ability to focus in all areas of your life.

You’ll feel better emotionally when you let go of things. You’ll also be able to find things when you need them instead of searching and getting stressed when you can’t find something.

Plus, you won’t spend as much money buying things that you forgot that you already had. A big benefit with using mindfulness to let go of the clutter is that it does more than give you more room in your home or in your office.

It allows you to let go of the mental and emotional clutter so that you’re able to have a more improved mindfulness, too. For the best results, go through every area of your life one portion at a time and clear out the clutter.

If you’ve always found it too difficult because you think the task is too big, give yourself fifteen minutes a day to focus on the clutter. When you break a task down, you’ll find that it’s easier to do.

Here are five tips:

1: Declutter your space. While people may argue about whether or not violent movies can raise a generation of messed-up, angry kids, let’s just err on the side of caution and declutter the space around us. With less things in our field of vision, we have less garbage to stew over and worry abou freeing up the space in our mind.

2. Declutter your schedule. Another thing that can drive us crazy is the constant rush from one activity to another. Take a look at your schedule and start eliminating things that aren’t necessary. All they’re doing is adding stress to your day and giving you more food to throw into the ever-spiraling mental stew of stress.

3: Unplug from the party. Would you be able to sleep and rest easily if you were attending a party of several thousand people like Times Square on New Year’s Eve? That’s pretty much what’s going on with your smartphone, on chat mode. You might be tapped in as you (probably) are to several social media networks- Tik Tok, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook. The pings, dings, and rings from various contacts, along with the thrill of finding a new message are all adding small but unhealthy doses of stress to your day.

4: Practice mindfulness. This is the whole point of this blog. Mindfulness is all about engaging with the present in a fully, alive way. There are lots of ways to practice the skill of mindfulness, from meditation to just staring at an object (like a candle) and contemplating its existence. Mindfulness will help you learn how to push relevant concerns out of your conscious thought process, leading to increased concentration and a decluttered mind.

5: Let go. Remember that scene from Titanic where Kate says to Jack, I’ll never let you go? Well, sometimes it’s best to let old memories die. From broken relationships to diabolical bosses (think like the Devil’s Wears Prada), we tend to have a whole lot of backstory spinning in the back of our mind. Just let it all go, and like a computer that suddenly operates faster, you’ll find your mind freeing up RAM and in a much more easy state.

Keep in mind that it may not be that much of a big deal if there’s a small amount of clutter around you, occasionally. However, clutter is a symptom of being unorganized and being unorganized is a habit like rationalizing or making excuses about being too busy.

Here is one of life’s paradoxes. Have you noticed that those people who are the most productive and seem to be able to schedule spare time at short notice?

To relieve yourself from the stress of being disordered, there is a simple solution. Be organized. However, like most things in life, simple does not mean easy. You need to put in the extra effort of getting organized and staying organized, which can eventually reduce stress levels and will make you feel more accomplished and in control.

getting organized

Living in a cluttered environment and being unorganized is circular – each feeds off the other. You can improve both aspects, but you have to break the cycle by forming better habits. Getting rid of all areas of clutter can help you make healthier decisions in life, and also make your relationships easier and more rewarding.

  1. Learn to say no. Setting boundaries for yourself and others is one key to becoming more organized. Knowing you have preset limits can help decrease your stress level. Don’t automatically say “yes” to requests for help from others. Evaluate each request before responding. Protect your time.
  2. Plan ahead. Planning your day ahead of time greatly helps in reducing your stress level. This will alleviate feelings of being rushed all the time. Take time at the end of the day to plan for tomorrow. If you do this, you will feel far more relaxed and in control.
  3. Proactivity is the key. Being proactive with your problems is part of being organized. Unaddressed problems accumulate, and your emotional clutter is probably affecting you more than anything else. Solve the issues that you can, then pay attention to different stressors in your life, and work to manage and eliminate them.

If you’re more organized, you will feel in control, instead of feeling you are being swept along by the events of the day. And any choices made while not under pressure will result in better decision making.

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Authenticity

embrace your imperfections and live a happy life

Do you constantly find yourself too wrapped up in your imperfections? If so, it could be getting in the way of a happy, fulfilled life. 

Acknowledge your imperfections

Each of us has imperfections. However, many fight against their flaws; harshly criticizing themselves for not being perfect. There is much pressure in society today to be a perfect person. Our Instagram feeds show pictures of our acquaintances and celebrities in their stylish homes with manicured lawns and swimming pools. They pose with their filtered faces and advertise products that can enhance our lives. Unfortunately, this just isn’t possible. It isn’t reality therefore we end up feeling like a failure or develop feelings of self-hatred.

Expectations and imperfections Before and After

If you want to learn to love yourself, embracing your imperfections is key. Here, we’ll look at why it’s important to embrace your imperfections and the benefits it can deliver.

Your Positive Imperfections

When you start to embrace your imperfections, you’ll start to see them more positively. There are some positives to imperfections. For example, if you suffer with anxiety, you may beat yourself up for not being able to do certain things that come easy to others. However, a positive of anxiety is that it can make you more empathetic. That is a great trait to have in an often-cruel world.

Flaws can be considered more attractive than you might realize. So, start to look for the positives in your flaws and realize that everyone has them.

Feel Free

When you are caught up on your imperfections, it can make you feel trapped under constant pressure. By embracing them, it helps to set you free. Nothing is more freeing than living your life without the constant weight of your own expectations. Once you accept your flaws, you’ll feel like a weight can be lifted.

Focus on Who You Are

When you are focused on your imperfections, it can stop you being who you truly are. It causes you to chase an ideal that you aren’t ever going to live up to. However, when you let go of your imperfections, your authentic self will start to shine through. 

If you feel like you have lost who you wanted to be, start letting go of your need to be perfect. 

Living Healthier

Living your life focused on your imperfections isn’t healthy. It impacts your perspective on things, causing you to make choices you wouldn’t necessarily make if you weren’t caught up on your flaws.

Stressing over the things that you are not, can have a negative impact on your health. If you want to improve your overall health and wellbeing, you’ll want to start embracing your imperfections.

These are some of the reasons why you need to learn to embrace your flaws. While it may be difficult, with practice you can start to think more positively about your imperfections. Remember, nobody in life is perfect, not even you and you are never going to be. The sooner you accept this and know that it’s fine, the better your life will become. 

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Authenticity Positivity

the hidden dangers of being too nice 

A genuinely decent or ‘nice’ person has always been a blessing to those they come in contact with. It’s an admirable quality that anybody would simply wish to have more access to, especially to balance the spite and hate that can sometimes seem to be predominant. 

Terrible news happening every day has never been so widely broadcast. People have never been more divided in what they believe in and in proving themselves right, sometimes reaching a point of violence. 

The world could really make use of some altruism and genuine kindness today. The glaring truth is, we would simply live better if there were more good-hearted people around in our midst.

But when you’re a good and decent person who is simply too nice to the point of excess, it can often bring you more harm than good. 

This falls into two parts:

  1. there are always others who will take advantage of another’s good nature.
  2. when these ‘nice’ behaviors are manifest for the wrong reasons, it can be an unhealthy barrier to self-growth. 

There are apparent risks and hidden dangers of being excessively nice.

  • Growing resentment that you are unable to express.

Being too available to others and overly generous of yourself and your time can impact your self-worth and confidence. While you’re busy attending to everyone else’s needs, you have most likely forgotten your own, or given them a lower priority.

This may cause you to experience feelings of resentment towards situations and people. But as an overly nice person, you will be unlikely to express how you feel, as you’re afraid to rock the boat. This is a very unhealthy cycle you may find difficulty getting out of. As a result, your self-esteem can suffer.

  • You can attract the wrong type of people into your life.

People may come to you only when they need and want something, knowing they can easily benefit from you without you expecting anything in return. This is a sad situation to be in, but it is not so uncommon for overly nice people. The result? You end up attracting people who don’t have your best interests at heart or even worse toxic people.

  • People will not trust and respect you as you expect they should.

For many people, for various reasons, trust and respect are not freely given but must be earned. Sometimes, if you so generously trust others without them earning it, you’ll lose your high value. These people can then disappoint you and disrespect you. 

They know that won’t be a problem because you’re too nice even to get mad. In the end, they will keep disrespecting you due to your lack of boundaries. When you are a person who trusts others easily, this can be bewildering and painful.

  • You develop unrealistic expectations of others.

Being a naturally nice person can bring out the naïveté in us as we may inherently believe that other people have the same regard for our welfare as we would for theirs. The truth is, it does not always work that way. 

Sometimes, you will need to be very transparent at communicating your expectations to make some relationships work. If not, you’ll just end up resenting someone because they weren’t properly briefed at the onset.

  • People will take advantage of you.

People are people, and even though they may not always have bad intentions at first, many are nevertheless opportunistic. They can easily take you for granted if you do not assert yourself enough. Worse, they’ll take advantage of you because you’re too nice and may even use it against you.

For a person who lacks malice and sees the best in others, it can seem to be a cruel world when your ‘niceness’ is taken advantage of, spurned, or used against you. Sadly, this is a common occurrence – and to the best of people with good intentions. 

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Before you openly extend yourself so generously to others, make sure you practice self-love first. Being a nice person with a genuine concern for the welfare of others is a very admirable trait, but it also requires a degree of resilience. Be your best self to others, but don’t blindly expect reciprocation.

Always remember to respect and love yourself. Have some boundaries for people to respect. If you do this, being a nice person will better work to your advantage and happiness. 

Listen to this brief audio to learn how to take ownership of your actions and feelings:

Categories
Self-care

being nonjudgmental with mindfulness when self-blame takes over

Self-blame refers to a person’s tendency to consider themselves at fault, especially when things don’t go as well as planned, even if the cause or events were beyond their control. A pattern of self-blame leads a person to feel constantly guilty and inferior. 

Although the tendency to self-blame can make a person seem humble and unassuming, it can also inhibit them in becoming more creative and wanting to strive to do better. 

People who have a persistent habit of blaming themselves for anything that goes wrong will usually avoid taking the initiative. This is because they prefer to stay inconspicuous so they won’t receive any extra needless attention. In doing so, they hope that others will have similar expectations of their capabilities. 

Being self-critical is the act of telling ourselves negative and destructive thoughts, such as being inadequate, shameful, or a failure. We almost all have a tendency to be self-critical to some degree. 

However, the problem begins when this becomes a habit; a negative, self-reinforcing loop. This is because constant self-criticism causes a person to become stuck with negative thoughts and emotions about themselves. They feel guilt and shame to the extent that they no longer feel any desire to achieve. If left unaddressed, this inaction can lead to depression or other mental health issues. 

Self-criticism deprives an individual of being able to look at their own efforts or abilities objectively. It robs them of being able to engage in healthy self-reflection, which would allow them to be more accepting of any past mistakes.

We can get away with a little bit of self-blame and self-criticism occasionally. However, if we continually beat ourselves up and start to do it more often than not, then we may not be able to stop and do an objective reality check. 

Remember, your mind is incredibly powerful. If you continually feed it with self-blaming and self-criticizing words, those words will get louder and more believed and ingrained. In turn this can increase your risk of developing anxiety or depression. 

Self-criticism and self blame can be beneficial to some degree

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They do help us ‘get real’ about ourselves. Sometimes we may be a little guilty of believing our own press. Some critical self-evaluation allows us to identify and accept our imperfections and take conscious steps to improve them. However, if self-blame and self-criticism become the norm, it can paralyze us into inaction. 

Consequently, you will be hindered from achieving your full potential. Therefore, it’s important to keep self-blame and self-criticism within healthy levels. Simply, it should be a feedback mechanism, not a tool for consistent self-deprecation.

But what if being self-critical get out of hand? Could it be possible you hate yourself too much? Self-hatred is more than simply not liking yourself. When you suffer with self-hatred, you’ll constantly put yourself down and feel like you aren’t good at anything.

Here, we’ll look at what self-hatred is, the impact it can have on your life and how you can stop it in its tracks.

Understanding self-hatred

Self-hatred is basically like having a little bully sat inside your head. You will experience constant criticizing thoughts, pointing out your flaws and mistakes. Just some common self-hatred thoughts you might experience include:

  • You’re a loser
  • Why did you event try, you knew you would fail
  • You aren’t good enough
  • Why can’t you just be normal?

You’ll put yourself down and compare yourself to others frequently. Self-hatred tends to develop over time and is triggered by more than one event. 

How can it impact your life?

Although self-doubt is healthy, self-hatred is not. If you struggle with self-hatred, it can have a devastating impact on your life. Often the feelings of self-hatred worsen over time and can lead to destructive behaviors as you try and numb the negative self-talk. 

Many people who suffer with self-hatred go on to develop destructive behaviors such as cutting themselves, develop eating disorders or turn to drugs and alcohol. It can impact every aspect of your life including your relationships, your career, and the friends you include in your life. You may also stop caring about the things you used to enjoy and avoid things that make you feel better.

The impact it can have on your life makes it important to treat quickly, rather than ignore it. The question is, how can you eliminate self-hatred?

Ways to eliminate self-hatred from your life

There are many ways to eliminate self-hatred from your life. Learning how to tame your inner bully is a great first step. So, when you notice that inner voice telling you negative things about yourself, switch it around. Stop those negative thoughts in their tracks and turn them into a positive.

So, if your inner bully says, “you aren’t worth anything,” switch it to “I may feel like I am not worthy, but I know that I am.” The more you counteract the negative with positive thoughts, the more positive your mind will become.

You can also make a list of all your strengths. If you struggle to come up with some, ask those closest to you. When you focus on your strengths, you won’t be too caught up in your weaknesses.

Finally, work on building up self-compassion. That is, treat yourself the exact same way you would treat a good friend. Would you beat them up for making a mistake? If not, why do it to yourself?

Overall, self-hatred can be a powerful thing to overcome since it builds up over time. However, the tips above can help you to start quieten your inner bully and develop a little more self-compassion. 

Try a mindfulness to be more nonjudgmental.

Mindfulness Steps To Keep Your Self-Blaming and Self-Criticism In Check

  1. Focus your criticism on your behavior.

Behaviors can be changed. This is why when your inner voice starts to be critical, it is time to address your behaviors. Be careful not to criticize your attributes, as you can’t always change them, or need to. Your attributes are a part of your uniqueness. 

If you blame yourself for not being super-intelligent, you run the risk of drowning in frustration and depression. If instead you more correctly blame or criticize your habit of spending too much time on your smartphone instead of studying, then chances are you can find ways to rectify the behavior, and therefore change the result. 

2. Know the difference between taking responsibility and self-blaming.

Instead of being quick to blame or criticize yourself, try to assess the situation first. It is important that you look into every aspect of yourself, and see how your actions, inactions, and the words you have left unspoken, affected the entire outcome of the situation. Accept your mistakes and come up with ways on how you can improve yourself as well as the situation in the future. 

2. Acknowledge your self-critical inner voice.

When your inner voice tells you that you are lazy, not worthy or inadequate, acknowledge these thoughts. Start by creating a journal of the things that you like about yourself, and your strengths. Creating this type of journal will help you appreciate yourself more and criticize yourself less. 

If you work on improving yourself, your skills, abilities, and behavior you will find it easier to get rid of your negative self-critical inner voice.

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mindfulness

how mindlessness can lead to mindfulness

Mindlessness is the opposite of mindfulness.  It operates on auto-pilot and happens when you don’t think about anything.  You simply go through the motions.  The same routine repeats itself and mindlessly.  It can happen when you drive to work and think about other things, which don’t involve the here and now.  “Did I forget to sign that document?  What’s for dinner?” Your thought process becomes random and unfocused on the moment.  You can become unaware of your surroundings and the car collision down the road.  Another mindless act is eating without thinking.  When you munch on a cookie  while watching your favorite k-drama, you can become mindless.  You become so wrapped up in the drama with your favorite star that you don’t pay attention to what you eat and then blame yourself for gaining weight.  Essentially, mindlessness leads to really bad habits.

These bad habits are learned and can lead to further mindlessness. And how did you learn these bad habits?   You learn to be mindless as a child.  You might have heard from your parents to “suck it up”. This message can become internalized in your brain as “don’t feel anything”.  As a child, you learn from this behavior that you can shut down your feeling leading to mindlessness.

How do you turn around mindlessness? You don’t ignore your past or become preoccupied with the future. You use mindfulness by becoming self-aware of the moment. Think about the analogy of an apple. You buy an apple at a farmer’s market and you think about how the apple tree grew in a grove. You think about how it was cared for by kind farmers that watered and fertilized the trees. The seeds of the apple represent the future. But the moment, is now. This is the moment when you take a bite into the apple.

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Mindfulness is being aware of the present moment.  When you are mindful, you are aware of yourself and your surroundings.  In fact, you are acting intentionally with a purposeful action.  With mindfulness we start by understanding ourselves, our environment and how we respond to others.  Mindfulness can also balance and renew your energy to follow your goals.  

While meditation may be the most effective way to achieve mindfulness, there are other options you can try. Maybe you find it difficult to practice the traditional seated contemplation. Maybe you question its value. In meditation we may have upward of three hundred thoughts so it is easy to get frustrated or caught up with perfection.  It’s impossible to fail at meditation. Even if you sit for a short time then you are able to carry out a mindfulness exercise. here is no right or wrong way to carry out mindfulness. There’s no special technique for mindfulness.  Certainly,  you can still find more happiness and peace of mind through a variety of physical and mental practices.

There are many ways that you can be mindful throughout your day without ever having to take a break from whatever it is that you’re doing. Knowing this has helped many extremely busy people to be able to get into the habit of practicing mindful activities.

One simple way to practice mindfulness is by brushing your teeth. You do this so often that you probably do it without even thinking about it. Instead of brushing your teeth on autopilot, take the time to focus on the steps involved in this routine. 

Feel the bristles of the brush as they cross your teeth and tongue. Pay attention to the thickness of the toothpaste of the flavor of it. While you’re brushing your teeth, pay attention to the process and don’t let your mind think about worries or negative thoughts. 

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Another way that you can practice mindfulness as you go about your day is through mindful listening. So many times, there are sounds around you and yet you don’t even hear them because you’re not listening with a focus. 

Wherever you are, you can take a few seconds to listen to the sounds. You might be able to hear a bird singing, the wind blowing or the distant roll of thunder. You can practice mindful listening with popular music or with instrumentals. 

Hear each sound and focus on it for a few seconds while tuning out anything but the sound. Mindfulness can be practiced by focusing on breathing. It doesn’t take long and can be done any time of day and in any place. 

As you breathe, focus on the breath that you’re drawing in. Then focus on the breath that you’re exhaling. Keep your mind centered on the movement of your body as you breathe in the air and release it. 

Feel the air move within you and tune in to the sensation as you’re going through the exercise. You can practice mindfulness through many other activities including walking, eating, while cooking or cleaning.

Use the following tips for inner mindfulness practices:

  1. Slow down. Moving deliberately promotes mindfulness. Consider the purpose behind your daily activities. Take time to enjoy life instead of rushing from one activity to another.
  2. Focus. Give your full attention to one task at a time. Turn off your phone when you’re having dinner with your family. Listen closely to ordinary conversations and falling rain.
  3. Let go of judgements. Accept your thoughts, feelings, and experiences without guilt or shame. Love yourself for who you are now. Take pleasure in learning and growing. Forgive yourself and others for disappointments and mistakes.
  4. Live in the present. Concentrate on today rather than regretting the past or worrying about the future. Take pleasure in ordinary things like the smell of coffee or the texture of soft cotton sheets.

Free Download:

Download this worksheet on focusing on the present moment with key affirmations and self-reflection questions.

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habits mindfulness

essential self-discipline guide with mindfulness

Self-discipline is an important skill every person who wants to achieve more in life should possess. Self-discipline is essential in every aspect of life. Even though most people recognize the benefits of self-discipline, very few do something to reinforce and grow this beneficial skill. 

Contrary to some beliefs, self-discipline is not being harsh to yourself or living a restrictive lifestyle. Self-discipline also means self-control. It is a sign of inner strength and control of you actions, and your reactions. Self-discipline provides the power to stick to hard decisions, and follow them without changing your mind. This means self-discipline is an important requirement for achieving vital goals. 

Why self-discipline is important

Having self-discipline helps you to continue with your plans and decisions until you achieve them. It also displays as an inner strength that helps you to overcome addictions, laziness, and procrastination. 

Self-discipline is an important ingredient for success. It is the ability not to give up regardless of setbacks and failures. In fact, it is an important pillar of stable, long-term success. It is a skill that will help you understand the importance of life. 

Life presents problems and challenges on the path to success. In order to act above those challenges, you must act with determination and perseverance. Lack of self-discipline may lead to problems such as failure, relationship problems, and health issues. Just as some people have weak muscles, they can become strong with training. It’s the same with self-discipline. You can develop and strengthen self-discipline like any other skill, through training. You can develop self-discipline at any time. 

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Development of self-discipline will help you:

  • Avoid carelessness.
  • Fulfill promises you make .
  • Overcome bad behaviors such as laziness and procrastination.
  • Engage in good behaviors like going to the gym, swimming or taking a walk even when your mind tells you to stay at home. 
  • Stay focused on your diet and resisting temptation of eating unhealthy food (no sodas).
  • Waking early in the morning.
  • Overcome the bad habit of watching too much television.
  • Start reading motivational books, and implementing what you’ve learned.
  • Meditating regularly.

If you keep working and developing the skill, you will become stronger. On the other hand, if you do not challenge yourself in life, you will not gain self-discipline.

Happiness and the achievement of goals in life results from having a wide range of positive qualities. And no quality is more important in the attainment of long-term sustainable success than self-discipline.

Whether you seek to enhance your relationships, work ethic, or health, nothing beats self-discipline as the principal trait needed to achieve your goal.

However, self-discipline doesn’t always come naturally. The good news is that it can be a learned behavior. Try out these techniques to attain greater self-discipline.

Tips to improve your self-discipline

  1. Remove distractions. Removing distractions from your environment is a critical first step on your journey to increased self-discipline. For instance, if you are looking to cut down on distractions (such as social media) and focus on your job, you need to turn off your mobile notifications and block all social media until you get off work. In the example of weight loss, you would want to remove the unhealthy foods from your cabinets and pantry to make achieving your goal that much easier.
  2. Never think there will be a perfect time. Kick the habit of waiting for all things to align perfectly before embarking on your journey to self-discipline. If you are looking to enhance self-control, it has to start with you. Embrace simple things such changing your daily routine, breaking bad habits such as negative thinking, and instead actively developing new habits even if it does not feel right in your mind. But simply start now, instead of thinking there will be a better time.
  3. Reward yourself for achievement. Being self-disciplined does not mean you have to become miserable. In fact, by being too rigid, you are opening yourself up to disappointment, failure, and the possibility of falling back into the old habits. Instead, have days when you relax your regimen. When you reward yourself, you relieve the tension that may result from self-disciplined living.
  4. Don’t beat yourself up for backsliding. At some point, you will fall into some old habits. However, the important thing is not to beat yourself up, but rather to pick yourself up and recommit to the journey. You have to accept that there will be spectacular failures and fabulous successes. Don’t get too hung up in frustration, guilt, and anger, but rather acknowledge mistakes as an essential part of the learning process. Ultimately, developing self-discipline will allow you to live more freely by making choices that are more positive and healthy.
  5. Set active goals. Active goal setting is a very important skill, if you want to become disciplined. In fact, it’s quite different than passive goal setting; with passive goal setting, you just set goals in your mind without properly define them. But active goals have a profound meaning; you make plans and maybe you have already found some strategies, in order to be able to achieve them as soon as possible. So, you need to set some long-term goals and you also have to actively track your progress towards your specific goals in life.
  6. Ignore negativity. There are may be people around you that can exert an immensely negative effect on you. But you don’t have to let them. More specifically, you don’t have to let words or even their expressions deter you. If you can not accomplish it, you can always seek advice from experts, in order to learn how to avoid negativity. For example, if people say what you want to accomplish is not possible or even sneer at your efforts, you should try to avoid them. Instead, you need to use your energy and strength and try to interact with positive people.
  7. Practice Gratitude. You may spend too much time wanting a lot of things in your life. The habit of gratitude can help you move away from constantly wanting what you really don’t have. It’s time for you to start appreciating what you do have in your life and be happy about it. When you do this, you will begin to see some remarkable shifts in your life. Actually, the effects of gratitude are far-reaching. From improving your emotional well-being, to your mental health and spirituality, gratitude can offer you a lot. The most important thing is that gratitude can help you move from a stake of lack towards a state of abundance. For instance, when you live in a state of lack, it’s impossible to focus on achieving your goals and being disciplined. So, you need to focus on positive things and try to succeed your goals, without having stress. 

Categories
Self-care

8 tips for self-care: I wish it were self-care Sunday

Sometimes we are so busy with our daily hustle that Sunday meets Monday, and we tend to forget our self-care routines. An easy way to remember a self-care routine is to dedicate one single day of a week to fit it into your life. This is the start of self-care Sunday. 

Why Choose A Self-Care Routine on Sunday?

Sunday is the start of the week and a day of rest for many of us. It’s the perfect day to dedicate solely to yourself.  Forget chasing after the kids, the grumpy husband or the laundry. Self-care Sunday is all about you choosing a day to unwind from your weekly activities. It is a time to reflect and plan for the week ahead. By dedicating one day out of the whole week to your self-care, you are able to take advantage of the downtime. Also, you will improve your self-esteem. Let’s work on a quick routine

Setting Up Your Weekly Self-Care Routine

First, carve out time in your schedule for self-care Sunday. Don’t compromise your time with extra chores or rushing to get things done for Monday. Dedicate this time for you. Focus on your self-care on Sundays, whether that means an hour during the day, or changing the entire routine for the whole day. 

Think of self-care Sunday like a reset day. By resetting the button on your computer, you can reboot your life.  You not only get your planning done for the week, but you give yourself some time to relax and unwind. Your body rests and your mind grows in creativity with self-care. Remember our morning routine and how daydreaming helped us think of what we really wanted to accomplish. Downtime strengthens your imagination. It becomes your creative time.  

How is Self-Care Sunday Different from Ordinary Daily Self-Care?

There is no difference other than the day. In fact, you can probably carry out this routine on a Wednesday if you had the whole day off.  My work doesn’t allow that luxury. I chose Sunday because it is easy to remember and reminds me of the song by the Bangles. 

“I wish it were Sunday since 
 that is my fun day. My I don't want to run day.”


You still want to choose activities that help you to relax and that promote your overall wellness. Don’t feel pressured to cram all your self-care routines before or after work. 

Think About Your Current Sunday Routine

In order to turn Sunday into your weekly self-care day, you need to consider your schedule. This self-reflection helps you determine if these are things that can only be done on Sundays. Maybe if you move these tasks to another day you give more time to yourself.

Make a list of all you do every Sunday first. Then look at your list, and discard anything that isn’t really necessary or might no longer be serving you. With what is left, determine if any of those activities can be moved to Saturday. This is the trick to establishing a self-care Sunday.  

For instance, if you do a lot of cleaning and chores on Sundays, free some of your time on another day. Dividing tasks and running daily quick 5-minute room pick-ups works great. In this way, you will finish your daily cleaning in no time to free your Sunday.

Just because you have committed time to your self-care routine, doesn’t mean it becomes a recurrent boring task. For example, you might decide to practice belly dancing with your girlfriends one week or go on a solitary walk another week. We strive on variety.

Sometimes, what you choose as your self-care activity changes because of illness or a change in weather. Continue to make adjustments based on your schedule. Revisit what you are doing for self-care often. As your needs change, so will your self-care and what is actually going to benefit you the most. Remember that what works best for you is going to be an activity that helps you feel relaxed and improves your mood. Choose an activity that you love to do!

Ideas for Sunday Self-Care Activities

Self-care Sunday is more about dedicating a day to yourself each week. This dedicated time is important especially if you are too busy during the week to really focus on you. Here are some activities that can be great to do on Sundays: 

1. Let yourself sleep in 

This one is the hardest for me since my body wakes up before the alarm. This is the day that I allow myself to snooze it.  If you don’t get to sleep in during the rest of the week, at the very least give yourself this time on Sundays! Your body (and mind) needs the rest. 

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2. Make brunch at home

This is my friend’s Sunday routine tip. Her husband actually cooks up brunch every Sunday even if she is on a diet. Her home is like a restaurant. Sometimes, I visit her just for the crêpes and omelets. She pops open a bottle of champagne every Sunday. No wonder she is my best friend.

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3. Go outdoors

 You can also enjoy more time with your kids without cell phones and video games.  Go outside and literally play! Enjoy the fresh air and exercise. Ride bicycles around your neighborhood or have a picnic at the park. Walk a new nature trail, bird watch, and take photographs.

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4. Have an hour or a whole day of pampering 

You might not be able to dedicate the entire day just to self-care. So, another solution is to at least fit in some pampering time. This includes spa time.  Buy yourself a manicure set and follow a Youtube tutorial.  Unwind with a quick facial routine. I watch Dr. Dray on Youtube and her tutorials are from the drugstore. 

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5. Catch up on your reading or creative projects 

This is the perfect time to pick activities you enjoy. Maybe there is a book you have been wanting to finish or play the piano. Learn to read music or a new language. 

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6. Get ready for the week 

Self-care can also mean just giving yourself to meditate by doing nothing.really reset and prepare for the week ahead.

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7. Volunteer your time

Looking for something more meaningful and fulfilling? You might like to volunteer somewhere as your self-care. Look into local community centers or animal shelters that are open on Sunday and see if they need any help. 

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8. Join a local club 

Another social activity that helps with your self-care is joining a local club, like a book club. It will encourage you to read more. You can get together once a week with your book club to chat over tea.   I personally enjoy my camera club meet-ups.

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Categories
Time management

be free: time management strategies

Girl with hands up in the air.  Below a cloud with the title: be free time management strategies,  A palomino horse running in a field.

Time management is all about staying focused on the end goal. Many writers like Tim Ferris from The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9–5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich use the Pareto Principle, also known as the ’80:20 Rule’. At first, it sounds like a complex subject, but it’s one that works and is highly recommended for success.

the 80:20 rule

Simply, 80% of efforts that are not time managed or unfocused generates only 20% of the desired output. However, 80% of the desired output can be generated using only 20% of a well time managed effort. Although the ratio ’80:20′ is only arbitrary, it is used to put emphasis on how much is lost or how much can be gained with time management.

Some people view time management as a list of rules that involves scheduling appointments, goal settings, thorough planning, creating things-to-do lists, and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop efficient personal time management skills. These basic skills can be fine-tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

There are more skills involved in time management than the core basics. Skills such as decision making, inherent abilities such as emotional intelligence and critical thinking are also essential to your personal growth.

Personal time management involves everything you do. No matter how big and no matter how small, everything counts. Each new knowledge you acquire, each new advice you consider, each new skill you develop should be taken into consideration.

personal time management

Having a balanced life-style should be the key result in having personal time management. This is the main aspect that many practitioners of personal time management fail to grasp.

Time management is about getting results, not about being busy.

The six areas that personal time management seeks to improve in anyone’s life are physical, intellectual, social, career, emotional, and spiritual.

  1. The physical aspect involves having a healthy body, less stress, and fatigue.
  2. The intellectual aspect involves learning and other mental growth activities.
  3. The social aspect involves developing personal or intimate relations and being an active contributor to society.
  4. The career aspect involves school and work.
  5. The emotional aspect involves handling your feelings under undue stress.
  6. The spiritual aspect involves a personal quest for meaning.

Thoroughly planning and having a set of things-to-do for each of the key areas may not be very practical, but determining which area in your life must receive more attention is part of time management.

Each area creates a better version of you. If you are ignoring one area, then you are ignoring an important part of yourself.


Personal time management should not be a daunting task. It is a very sensible and reasonable approach to solving problems big or small.

A great way of learning time management and improving your personal life is to follow several basic activities:

  • Review your goals, whether it be immediate or long-term goals, often by keeping a list in a place that is accessible like an iPad, notepad, or computer.
  • Determine which task is necessary or not necessary in achieving your goals and which activities are helping you maintain a balanced lifestyle. Monitoring your peak time and slow times, you should be able to tell when to do the difficult tasks when we are the sharpest.
  • Learn to say “No”. You actually see this advice often. Heed it even if it involves saying the word to family or friends.
  • Pat yourself at the back or just reward yourself in any manner for an effective time management result.
  • Obtain cooperation from people around you who actually benefit from your efforts in time management.
  • Attend to necessary things immediately. Don’t procrastinate.
  • Maintain a positive attitude and set yourself up for success. Be realistic in your approach to achieving your goals.
  • Record or journal of all your activities. This will help you get things in their proper perspective.

These are the few steps you initially take in becoming a well-rounded individual.

Personal time management is the art and science of building a better life.

From the moment you integrate management skills, you have opened several options that can provide a broad spectrum of solutions to your personal growth. It also creates more doors for opportunities to knock on.

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